Rights bought to Stephen King's time travel novel about the JFK assassination. Wait, what?

Scientifically speaking, I believe that if Stephen King doesn’t write at least 100 pages a day, he’ll start biting himself like a shark (sharks do that, right?). One of his most recent works is the not-yet-released 11/22/63, a thousand-page tome about an English teacher who goes back in time to stop the Kennedy assassination. But that’s not all, he also discovers A TREASURE MAP HIDDEN ON THE BACK OF THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE! Okay, not really, but he does party with Elvis and bang a librarian. The movie rights have already been picked up by Jonathan Demme (Philadelphia, Rachel Getting Married). What do librarians do these days, anyway? Do they just give jerk-off lotion to hobos?

The Oscar-winning filmmaker (The Silence of the Lambs) will write and direct as well as produce the adaptation.
The tome, all 1000-pages of it, is set to hit stores in November and centers on an English teacher who goes through a time portal in an effort to stop the Kennedy assassination. He finds himself dealing with luminaries ranging from Elvis to JFK and meets a high school librarian that becomes the love of his life.
Ilona Herzberg, who produced Demme’s last dramatic feature, Rachel Getting Married, is producing the project, which is not set up or financed. King will exec produce if the movie gets off the ground. [THR]

I hope they change the English teacher to black secret agent Wesley Snipes, and he gets to the book depository with only seconds to spare, finds Lee Harvey Oswald and yells, “ALWAYS BET ON BLACK!” and kicks him out a window. And then Marty McFly pulls up in the Delorean, pulls down his sunglasses and he’s all like, “That’s heavy, Doc!” And then a dog nearby covers his eyes with his paws for some reasons.  But that’s just me.

[In other Stephen King news, The Stand is getting a multiple-film adaptation from Warner Bros]