Senior Editor
10.28.08 32 Comments

Sad Shark just remembered Kingpin.  *sniff*

Hey, remember when the Farrelly Brothers made There’s Something About Mary, grossed $370 million on a $23 million budget and were the hottest filmmakers in town?  Yeah, well now they’re directing, I shit you not, Walter the Farting Dog starring the Jonas Brothers [emphasis added to indicate level of incredulity -Ed.].

The title character in the “Walter” books is a fat dog with severe flatulence. The brothers play musicians [i.e., themselves] whose parents are asked to care for the dog by an aunt just before she passes away.

“By the time they’ve driven the dog home, everybody’s head is out the window of the family station wagon but Frankie [aka “the Bonus Jonas”.  Oh god kill me now], and only because he has a serious sinus problem and doesn’t notice the stench coming from Walter,” said Peter Farrelly.

While his brothers play music, Frankie and the gaseous hound get involved in a plot that involves liberating a koi fish and thwarting jewel thieves.

F-ck me.  This sounds like something Eddie Murphy Martin Lawrence turned down.  Is it because the Farrellys had kids?  What is it about having kids that makes people stop being funny?  Does your brain shoot out your dick when you impregnate someone?  Because you could come up with any combination of kid celebrity and animal with a health condition and it still wouldn’t be as bad as The Jonas Brothers and a farting dog.  Bongo the AIDS Bear, starring Miley Cyrus. Jamal the Leprous Manatee, starring Zac Efron.  Milton the Ejaculating Dolphin, starring Ashley Tisdale.  See?  The Jonas Bros one is still worse.

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