Don’t do it! RDJ may star in an Allan Loeb movie.

Senior Editor
10.21.10 7 Comments

Between Tropic Thunder and proving himself a real got damn American at UFC 120 last week, it’d be hard to build more good will than Robert Downey Jr.  Still, I can’t help but be disappointed that he’s producing (with an eye to star) an adaptation of Neil Strauss’s Emergency! This Book Will Save Your Life, which Allan Loeb is scripting.

After the last few years of violence and terror, of ethnic and religious hatred, of tsunamis and hurricanes–and now of world financial meltdown–Strauss, like most of his generation, came to the sobering realization that, even in America, anything can happen. But rather than watch helplessly, he decided to do something about it. And so he spent three years traveling through a country that’s lost its sense of safety, equipping himself with the tools necessary to save himself and his loved ones from an uncertain future. With the same quick wit and eye for cultural trends that marked The Game, The Dirt, and How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, Emergency traces Neil’s white-knuckled journey through today’s heart of darkness, as he sets out to move his life offshore, test his skills in the wild, and remake himself as a gun-toting, plane-flying, government-defying survivor. [official book description via /Film]

So the dude version of Eat, Pray, Love, basically.  Hey, how about an adaptation of The Dirt instead?  That’s like the best book ever.  Who wouldn’t want to see Nikki Sixx de-groupie-smell his wiener by sticking it in a breakfast burrito?  Anyway, around the time I did the 10 worst lines from Wall Street 2 post, I got ahold of Allan Loeb’s script, only to find that a good eight of the 10 worst lines weren’t even in it.  So maybe it was whatever coked-up chimps Oliver Stone got to work on it after Loeb who were really to blame.  But with a resume that includes 21, Wall Street 2, The Switch, The Dilemma, an upcoming Adam Sandler comedy, Kevin James’ MMA-saves-the-rec-center project, and now this, until proven otherwise, I have to assume Allan Loeb is a human version of Awesom-o.  And yet he can’t go a week without getting a new job.  Do people in Hollywood actually watch movies?  I have to assume they don’t.

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