Roland Emmerich's Shakespeare movie has wordsplosions, real 'splosions

Everyone knows Shakespeare plays are full of florid prose and human drama. But what if the director of Independence Day made a movie about Shakespeare? What this film presupposes is, what if there were sword fights and executions and the characters didn’t talk like fags? That’s more or less the story of Roland Emmerich’s Anonymous, which recently released its second trailer (the first had cannon fights!).

“Since when did words ever win a kingdom?”

“…Leave that to me.”

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s like drama class Michael Bay! WE WILL DROP WORDSPLOSIONS ON THE EIFFEL TOWER OF PARCHMENT! Would a ‘Splosion by any other name still be totally sick, bro? Anyway, this looks awesome, but am I wrong for thinking that Roland Emmerich’s swordfights-and-explosions Shakespeare movie suddenly looks pretty tame in comparison to Paul WS Anderson’s 3D, Steampunk Three Musketeers movie with floating pirate ship cannon fights? You can’t fade floating cannon fights, Brobespierre, that’s science.