Ryan Gosling Has Reportedly Turned Down The ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ Title Multiple Times

People Magazine named Chris Hemsworth its Sexiest Man Alive for 2014, which is, I dunno, fine. It’s doesn’t exactly pack the star power of, say, a Clooney or a Pitt or whichever other tuxedo-clad Ocean’s Eleven alum they’ve given it to before, but again, it’s fine. He’s Thor. You could do worse than Thor.

“BUT WHAT ABOUT RYAN GOSLING?” you scream into the frigid November air, as though the vibrations your voice leaves behind might be capable of reversing this particular miscarriage of justice. “WHY HASN’T RYAN GOSLING WON YET, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD?”

Well, according to a report in The Wrap, there’s a good reason your beloved Baby Goose hasn’t won the title: He’s turned it down. Repeatedly. As in, multiple times. Plural.

People magazine’s annual “Sexiest Man Alive” issue has sparked backlash yet again, for passing over actor Ryan Gosling as cover star — but the “The Notebook” actor has repeatedly turned down the honor, an insider told TheWrap. […]

“They tried a few times, especially during his huge year in 2011,” an individual close to the cover negotiations said. Multiple efforts were consistently squashed by the actor’s team.

There are two things I love about this story.

First, if we take everything in this report as fact, this is a very cool move, and a great way to big-time some very powerful people in Hollywood, if that’s how you want to play it. “I’m the Sexiest Man Alive.” “Really? Because they called me first and I turned it down.” Efficient and brutal, like a guillotine.

Second, if we choose to question this story a bit, namely its motivations, this gets hilarious really quick. Like, what if it’s all false? What if Ryan Gosling was never offered the Sexiest Man Alive crown and is so furious about it that he directed his lackies to start leaking very specific, anonymous rumors that he actually turned it down? Multiple times. What if he went out to his mailbox and saw Chris Hemsworth on the cover and he threw a total sh*tfit, hucking vases around his mansion and screaming “HEMSWORTH? HEMSWORTH? I’M MUCH SEXIER THAN THAT NO-TALENT HAIRCUT. GOD. DOES NO ONE ELSE SEE THIS? I FEEL LIKE I’M GOING MAD.”

I mean, it’s a fun visual, if nothing else.