Sean Faris stars in ‘Freerunner.’ Oh, you better believe it’s about parkour.

Senior Editor
07.19.11 18 Comments

Here’s the trailer for Freerunner, which seems like a lock to steal the all-time box office record from Avatar. Yes, Sean Faris is doing great. It seemed like only yesterday he was fighting Cam Gigandet in MMA movies and being interviewed by Michigan high school newspapers, and now he’s back, playing an ace freerunner, who’s going to need all his free running skills of being able to climb down stairs and quickly slide across car hoods if he’s going to outrun a mad man who’s been knocking off free runners. But why would someone do such a thing? Well it turns out out he just really hates free running. The best motive is no motive, as countless poorly-written movies have told us.

My favorite moment is at the 17-second mark when there’s an out-of-context shot of a nerd saying “SH*T YEAH!” after Sean Faris captures the other team’s flag. IT’S LIKE HE’S DOING AN IMPRESSION OF ME WHEN I’M WATCHING SEAN FARIS PULL OFF BADASS PARKOUR MOVES! Then there’s a two-second montage that shows 1. parkour fighting 2. sexy dancing 3. Kanye shades 4. vodka drinking. IT’S SO RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS!! WHICH FOCUS GROUP DID YOU USE??!? This could be the hippest movie of all time. It’s so cutting edge it’s already played out. SAVE THEM, SEAN FARIS! SAVE THEM USING YOUR FREE RUNNING!

Look for it soon wherever DVDs are sold.

Sorry, I couldn’t resist reposting Parkour Dog.

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