(Oh whatever, like you’ve never experimented with machete play.)
I just watched the trailer for this Serbian movie, and sweet. mother. of God. It’s the story of an ex-porn star who’s down and out and gets mixed up in some freaky, shady stuff while he struggles to make ends meet — so basically, the Serbian version of Boogie Nights. Starring Serbian Mark Wahlberg, who looks like Karl Hungus. It includes Serbian machete snuff sex, lots of blood, lots of boobs, and someone getting their head caved in with a dumb bell. I promised myself I wouldn’t use this as an excuse for calling the Serbs crazy, but I’m not the one who called it A Serbian Movie. It makes sense — anything will get you killed in that part of the world. God help you if you show up looking like a member of the bushy mustache tribe in a village of the Silly Hat ethnic minority. Anyway, this is me after watching this trailer:
It’s way too NSFW to embed, but you can watch it here. Though, as I’ve said, I wouldn’t recommend it unless you want to be scarred for life. Which, if you arrived here via a Google search for “Serbian Machete Sex,” I imagine might be the case.