Should be a movie: Rooster stabs a man to death at a cockfight

This story isn’t movie related, but someone should find a way to option it immediately.  It’s not a dog bites man story, or even a man bites dog story, but the even more rare, cock fights man.  In fact, in this case you might even say that the cock fought the man, and the cock won.

Man killed by armed bird at California cockfight, was stabbed by rooster with attached knife

DELANO, California (AP) — A man who was at an illegal cockfight in central California died after being stabbed in the leg by a bird that had a knife attached to its own limb, officials confirmed Monday.

Jose Luis Ochoa, 35, of Lamont, California, was declared dead at a hospital about two hours after he was injured in neighboring Tulare County on Jan. 30, the Kern County coroner said.

An autopsy concluded Ochoa died of an accidental “sharp force injury” to his right calf.

Ochoa and the other spectators fled when authorities arrived at the scene of the fight, King told the newspaper. Deputies found five dead roosters and other evidence of cockfighting at the location, he said. [LA Times – thanks to Charlie Bronze for the tip]

His name was Jose Luis Ochoa.  His name was Jose Luis Ochoa.  Yeah, I bet they considered shutting down Project Mayhem after that one.  Can you imagine if you got super high and went to a cockfight, and then had to try to wrap your mind around the idea that your friend just got stabbed to death by a game bird? I imagine sitting there for hours, just hugging yourself, rocking back and forth, muttering, “That’s gotta be a metaphor for something.  That’s gotta be a metaphor for something…”

I really wish this could be a local news story narrated by the guy who ate his own beard. “An’ ‘fore I knowed it, there was knives,’n cocks, ‘n everythang just went haywire.”