Senior Editor
01.15.09 53 Comments

This whole story sounds phoney and the source is the NY Post, but like ma always taught me, that’s no reason not to use it as an excuse to ridicule people.  The rumor is that Sienna “Oops here’s my tits” Miller has been forced out of Ridley Scott’s Nottingham because she’s too pretty to stand next to lardass Russell Crowe.

An insider said, “It is a mess. Russell never lost the weight he put on for ‘Body of Evidence’ – and so the love scenes between him and Sienna would have been laughable. He’s so old and fat and she’s so young and gorgeous. It’s just . . . gross.”

Wait, a Hollywood movie starring a hot chick opposite a lumpy schlub?  Gasp! We can’t have that!  That’s never been done!

Word in Hollywood is that producers are “looking for an older, plumper actress to play the role so [Crowe] doesn’t look like a paunchy grandpa. Someone in her late 30s or early 40s.”

The Oscar-winner has demanded serious script rewrites. “Originally the movie was about a love triangle between Maid Marian, Robin Hood and the Sheriff of Nottingham,” our tipster said. “It is now all about Russell’s Robin Hood. Literally, 40 pages of script were redone and now are just devoted to him and his massive ego. It’s amazing.”

Despite studio denials, we hear Crowe is trying to get director Ridley Scott fired. Calls were made to several prominent directors over the holidays to find a replacement. “All of this was done behind Ridley’s back,” the insider said. “He has no idea.” [Post]

Hmm, Russell Crowe is trying to get Ridley Scott fired?  Would that be the same Ridley Scott that directed him in Gladiator, Body of Lies, American Gangster, and A Good Year?  And since Crowe was supposed to play the Sheriff and Robin Hood, re-writing the script to focus on Robin wouldn’t really give him more camera time, now would it?  Poor post.  I know how long a good photoshop job and hilarious headline pun takes, so I can understand why they would just make stuff up.  Plus, Russell Crowe is kind of fat, so screw him.  He doesn’t have the body to pull off a svelte medieval Englishman like say, Henry VIII.  I mean, you shoulda seen the washboard abs on that f-cker.  Damn, son.

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