Simon Cowell Is Making A Betty Boop Movie

Move over Kelly Clarkson, there’s a new aging Idol in town who Simon Cowell is bringing back from the dead to entertain us all over again. (So… that’s probably completely unfair to Kelly Clarkson but, ya know, ya gotta start out these posts with a kinda bitchy opening sentence or else people stop reading.) And that idol is none other than Betty Boop, the 1930’s cartoon that your grandfather used to stoke it to. Vulture posted that Simon Cowell’s production company Syco Entertainment (pronunciation of “Syco” varies upon whether you think Cowell is more sycophant or psychopath) will be producing the first Betty Boop movie since 1939.

Max Fleischer’s wide-eyed flapper Betty Boop might be getting another movie — the first since 1939’s Yip Yip Yippy (which was the last in the Boop series, but didn’t even feature Betty herself). How will Betty exist in our modern era? It’s up to Simon Cowell, partially: Cowell’s production company, Syco Entertainment, and Animal Logic (who did the animation for The Lego Movie) are putting it together. Let’s just hope that it doesn’t go from animation to live-action. Is Zooey Deschanel free?

That is actually quite a valid concern. I, too, hope they don’t make Betty Boop into a live-action film. Blatant sexual harrassment is way easier to laugh at when it happens to a cartoon. Not sure what I’m talking about? Well I’ve got a clip for you at the bottom of this post. In fact, the YouTube description from YouTube user actually comes with a warning that says “Some of the Betty cartoons showed adult themes, and sexual harassment is clear in this one. Other Betty Boop cartoons were banned at the time for allegedly showing drug-abuse and racism.” Kind of makes you wonder how the hell they are going to be able to make a Betty Boop cartoon in these modern times where women and minorities have, like, rights and sh*t. I’d love it if they wrote the script in the style of Boardwalk Empire and had Betty Boop addicted to laudanum. That’d be rad.