I don’t quite understand the dopey nostalgia my generation still has for things like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (I get it, we were kids once, shut up), but whatever your idealized memory is of them, Michael Bay plans to ruin it like he did with Transformers when his production company reboots them as a live-action movie adaptation for Paramount with the director of Battle Los Angeles. On the plus side, this train wreck is threatening to become hilarious, as Bay now says that in addition to being mutants, they’ll also be edgy aliens.
Speaking at the Nickelodeon upfronts, Bay said:
“When you see this movie, kids are going to believe, one day, that these turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely lovable.”
That. Is. Amazing. A normal person might question why they need to be aliens when they’re already mutants according to the title. It takes a visionary like Michael Bay to wonder “but what if the mutants were also aliens, whose mutations only made them more edgy?” Oh, man. Tough, edgy, funny, and lovable. I’m picturing an alien turtle Bill Hicks who loves pizza and saves the rec center by keeping it real.
UPDATE, 3/20: Not surprisingly, the fan backlash has been withering. Bay responds here.
If you doubt that Michael Bay said this in complete seriousness, check out the video below.
-Thanks to Burnsy for the assist on that photoshop