Steven Seagal Has Become Putin’s Dennis Rodman

Steven Seagal has become something of a mouthpiece for Russian policy of late, as I suspect he would do for just about anyone who pretends to take him seriously for five minutes (see also: Joe Arpaio). At first it was cute, watching him do traditional dances and become “the face of the Russian arms industry.” But in the wake of Russia’s invasion of Crimea (formerly part of “Ooo-krine“), he’s become the Russian media’s go-to stooge for pull-quotes about how Vladdy Putin is really just a stand-up guy. Just as he was again this week, in a 2,000-word interview with the Rossiskaya Gazeta. Of course he defends Russia, when’s the last time anyone besides a sexual harassment lawyer devoted 2,000 words to Steven Seagal?

According to The Moscow Times, Mr Seagal, who is currently shooting a new film in Romania, said President Vladimir Putin’s “desire to protect the Russian-speaking people of Crimea, his assets, and the Russian Black Sea military base in Sevastopol … is very reasonable.”

In the interview Seagal reportedly says he considers Putin “one of the great living world leaders” and that he “would like to consider him as a brother.” He also criticises what he describes as the “idiotic” US policy on Ukraine. [BelfastTelegraph]

Yes, it would be reasonable, if that were indeed Putin’s desire. Don’t get me wrong, I would never argue that the current US position on Russia isn’t somewhat hypocritical. We unfortunately lost the moral highground over invading a sovereign country on trumped-up accusations a few years back. But pretending Putin’s move is anything but opportunistic requires a high level mix of willful ignorance and mental jiu-jitsu. Ie, Steven Seagal’s forte.

Seagal has expressed a possible desire to run for Arizona governor in the past. Which makes you wonder, how would a former horndog action movie star who has actually served as governor answer the Crimea question?

Former governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger offered some less-than-helpful advice for world leaders when asked about Crimea in a recent interview to promote his new film ‘Sabotage’.

“I think what they all need to do now, is stop whatever they are doing and watch the movie ‘Sabotage’”, he said. [BelfastTelegraph]

God I love Arnold.

I’ll let you know what Jesse Ventura thinks about it, just as soon as we find his underground bunker.