Stream Them if You’ve Got Them: Your Guide To Netflix And Streaming, Feb 21st, 2014

Top Netflix Streamer of the Week
House of Cards Season Two
If you got all the people who love House of Cards, and pitted them against all the people who love True Detective, that would be a bloodbath. Sure, most people love both, but if you look at the Venn diagram of fans of these shows and then throw in “people who will stop you on the street to demand you watch” it would make a perfect single circle. There is no one who watches either of those shows who is all, “I mean, it’s fine. Whatever.” It’s like House of Cards is the new Mormon religion, and we’re all just looking up there at Shawn Bradley. No one under 30 gets that joke, but I’m doing me.

I’ve heard season two is pretty good though.

Streamability: Very much so.

Physically New Media for Netflix, Streaming Elsewhere
Afternoon Delight
Truthfully, it’s not a very good movie. However, it does give you a pretty solid chance to look at stripping as a metaphor, and really isn’t it all about being open with oneself? And haven’t we all, at one time or another, sold ourselves, given up our agency, and all for what? Sigh. Just wear a beret as you ponder.

Streamability: I say you should have it on when you’re significant other comes home and then turn it off really quickly, acting all the while like you weren’t up to anything, or maybe blame them for not loving you enough preemptively.

Physically New Media for Netflix
Machete Kills
Truthfully, a title like Machete Kills is a bit of a mystery because less than a million Americans saw it in theaters. It was as if they’d made a movie in the forrest, and then chopped down a tree, and then no one saw Machete Kills. In a way, we should all see this to see what we’ve all been missing. Trivia: This trailer had more views than the movie in theaters. Ladies and gentlemen, the Internet!

Streamability: Well, no, not really.

Netflix Streaming Title Only I Like
As much as I bagged on The Bling Ring a few weeks ago, I’m probably the very reason it was funded, because I blushed like a six-year-old girl when I was yammering on about Somewhere. You can tell this one is all about Sophia Coppola’s messed up childhood (as opposed to Lost in Translation which was about her messed up marriage or The Godfather 3 which was about her messed up dad). But here’s the thing, I liked the subtle nature of the film, I enjoyed thinking, “Wait, was this Sophia’s life?” It’s a very specific thing, to be rich and yet a complete afterthought in Godless Los Angeles, but I dug it. It’s like a Wes Anderson film without all the tidiness. Also, Stephen Dorff, you guys! The best actor whose name ends with two FFs!

Streamability: You know you want it.

The Bad, The Bad, and the Ugly New to Netflix
Burn Notice
I only brought this one up so I could link to the “SNL” skit. No regrets.

Streamability: Not really, no.