Stream Them If You’ve Got Them: Your Guide To Netflix And Streaming, Mar 13, 2014

I won’t lie to you, it’s slim pickings this week. If you’re wanting some streaming, you might be in some trouble. Still, we’re gonna help you out here, we’re not going to leave you hanging. High and dry, that’s not you, that’s not the experience James Uproxx intends for anyone to have. So here we go!

Top Netflix Streamer of the Week
P!nk: The Truth About Love Tour
Want to hear a true story? If you head over to yee ol’ Netflix and type in “Pink” this title won’t show up. Wanna guess why? Gotta type “P!nk”. I sh** you not. That’s beyond ridiculous. That’s SO P!nk. Just like a pill. Gotta raise my glass to her. Anyway, I guess this is about a tour? I can tell that from the title. God knows why anyone would watch this, but at least now you know how to find it.

Streamability: Lol, you card.

Physically New Media for Netflix, Streaming Elsewhere
The Counselor

There’s a scene where Cameron Diaz humps a sports car. That’s either going to sell you or repel you. Then there’s the cheetahs. Oh man, the Goddamn cheetahs, they are all over this movie. More cheetahs than a Chester Cheetah factory. They’re a metaphor you see, for the economy. Do you get it? Plus, there’s a scene with Brad Pitt I still can’t get out of my head, and I’m rarely lucid. Mercy.

Streamability: If you wanna have some nightmares mixed with brutal dialogue, then yes sirree (available on GooglePlay for $4.99).

Physically New Media for Netflix
Inside Llewyn Davis
There’s an insidery mystery here that no one ever talks about, and that’s how CBS acquired the rights to this film. Here’s few of the other films they’ve released: Last Vegas, The Back-up Plan, Faster. And … Inside Llewyn Davis. One of these things is not like the other. My theory? There was a page or an intern that was REALLY excellent at the sex act, and they got one of the Porsche-driving execs to bite on a real film. It’s a working theory sure, but when life gives you a disparate set of clues you’ve got to weave them together to form a conspiracy theory. It’s not going to weave itself. [Vince’s review]

Streamability: It’s a really good movie, but if you haven’t liked the Coen Brothers previously then this isn’t the place to start (available on GooglePlay for $3.99).

Netflix Streaming Title Only I Like
There’s so much that goes on in the animation world that just slips by, passing like a ship in the night. In a previous episode I mentioned The Croods, and now I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that Turbo. It makka me laugh. At first, it seems latently racist, because they’ve got these Mexican fellas running a taco truck, but then they’ve also got snails trying to race in the Indianapolis 500. Nothing typical about that setup. Now that you mention it, this might be the best performance Ryan Reynolds ever gave.

Streamability: For families and people thinking of starting a family OR fans of snail animation, this is a non-brainer.

The Bad, The Bad, and the Ugly New to Netflix
Best Man Holiday
I love how terrible this movie is, especially at the end. Ostensibly, it’s about a group of friends getting together, as it’s a sequel, and there’s much merriment and laughter for the opening act. But secretly, deep down, what it’s really about is bumming you out. For real, though. This will harsh your mellow in a very big way. Why so? Oh, a little thing I like to call terminal illness. Get some!

Streamability: That’s a negative. This is a total a brainer if you’re thinking about giving it a chance.

And Finally …
In The Loop
Look, it’s not new to streaming, or the Internet, or really anything. But you can watch it on Netflix Instant, and it only made $7 million in theaters. I can’t find the DVD sales, but I have to assume no one but hoity toity film critics (like Vince) saw it. It stars the late James Gandolfini, and it’s chocko full of cursing and hurt feelings. A really solid political satire based upon a BBC show called “The Thick of It”, which you should also see. I figured there should be one really solid recommendation you potentially hadn’t heard of, so I’m going with this. It was either In the Loop or a porn parody. I think I made the right choice.

Streamability: Seriously, get down on it.