Senior Editor
08.13.08 57 Comments

Despite the fact that it’s a creepy, homoerotic pulp series from a billion years ago and there’s already been a movie adaptation of it that featured Arnold Schwarzenegger knocking out a camel (How you gonna improve upon that?  You can’t!), Lionsgate is still deadset on a Conan the Barbarian movie. To that end, they’ve hired two new writers, Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain, the team behind Outlander.   You know, that vikings vs. aliens movie.  How do they plan to make this, you ask?  Well, they compare it to a certain franchise.  I’ll give you two guesses what it is.

Much like with "Batman Begins," the studio hopes to redraw the Conan feature universe to produce a new, post-millennial franchise. So rather than remake the Schwarzenegger bloodfest, the writers have gone back to Howard’s original stories to create a $100 million R-rated origin film, the largest production to date for Lionsgate and Millennium.

"Fans expect (these types of movies) to be more true to the source material," Malmberg said. "There’s no reason there couldn’t be a Conan movie every two years. He’s almost like Batman: He’s a dark hero. He’s a hard hero. He has to be badass, but we also have to like him." [THR]

First of all, Conan couldn’t be less like Batman unless he was a houseplant.  Secondly, Conan was created in 1932.  The fans that are still alive have more important things to worry about than whether the movie’s faithful to the source material, like not crapping their pants.  But whatever, as long as he takes his shirt off and wrestles dudes, they can make 10 movies a year for all I care, and you can call me Onan the Barbarian.  I mean… uh… I liked the part where his muscles flex!  Wait, no!  I mean, GRR, HARD BARBARIANS!  AAAAARRGGGHHH!!!

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