Sucker Punch is the American Endhiran

This is the newest trailer for Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch (opens March 25th).  It’s fun to watch the trailer for Endhiran (that’s the Indian movie featuring the giant snake made of robot men that slithers around eating cars) because it’s foreign and you can’t understand the words, which creates a nice cognitive distance from which you can say, “Man, foreigners.  They are bugf*ck insane, amirite?”  But let’s have a little perspective here.  Imagine you’re an Indian dude watching the trailer for Sucker Punch.  It has, in order of appearance:

  • A fire-breathing dragon
  • A WWI-era German army of the undead
  • A tank
  • A robot samurai
  • A robot German
  • A robot of indeterminate origin with an exploding face
  • Giant samurai now shooting a gatling gun

And that’s just the first half before the quick cuts start.  (This version of the trailer doesn’t even show the dinosaurs).  It’s like Zack Snyder snuck into Michael Bay’s dreams and filled a movie with his secrets. Right about now you’d be rubbing your magic beads and muttering a prayer to a cobra or whatever those people do.

Much like Sucker Punch‘s protagonist who fights a war inside her own mind, I like to imagine that in Zack Snyder’s head, he’s the hero of an epic movie where everything he does happens in super slow-mo, but in reality it’s just him making whooshing sounds with his mouth while he peels an orange.