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Mark Driscoll is a super-cool pastor from Seattle who has tattoos, wears skinny jeans, and swears during his sermons, delivered in a church that
“It presents a false mediator with a witch… We have a false Jesus. And the visuals are amazing, because Satan wants you to emotionally connect with the lie. Oh, the problem is not that I need a savior, the problem is that I need to live in tune with creation. This is all Eastern garbage-ism. …We’re a very creative church. I’ve got three Tivos. We just don’t like Satan.”
Ouch, yet another poor review for Danny Masterson. Kidding aside, I’d make fun of the guy for criticizing Avatar‘s false idols while wearing a Mickey Mouse t-shirt, but this is mostly James Cameron’s fault for making it so easy for them. I mean really, dude, did you really need the dreadlock dirt orgy rave party? Of course the crazy Christians were going to hate it. Meanwhile, for counterpoint, I decided to check in with the Avatard forums. They point out that critics like Mark have overlooked an important point, the idea that the Na’Vi mate for life, unlike the rest of us sick, duplicitous, Tiger Woods-like primates:
Russell says:Im sure the Na’vi are very faithful indeed, theyr the most pure creatures I can think of.
But!
I cant help but imagine the scenarios where an ugly Na’vi, if that exhists, asks a very pretty Na’vi girlwho really doesnt like him to be his mate Then what?
Or they accidentally mate after having a little too much to drink after some festivities. Is it then like the catholics choice of getting married?
Thinking of this it makes me even more happy to see that Jake said that Neytiri also should choose him and did so with her heart in the right place. Atypical perhaps?
Nawmtirea says:
This thread reminded me of something I thought of after my second vieweing of Avatar. Jake is(was) a human, about 22 years old, and most likely not a virgin. Now that the humans are gone and Jake & Neytiri are mated for life, would it only be a matter of time before Neytiri asks Jake about his past life on earth? What would Jake say, if anything, about past relationships on earth, and would it destroy Neytiri if Jake was honest and told her about any past human relationships? Or were they with his “old” body, not his Avatar body, so they don’t count? I don’t mean this as a joke. This would be a very touchy/complicated subject if the Na’vi mate once and only once. [via]
Anyway, speaking of human relationships, I’m gonna go get my tinfoil hat ready and polish up the old rifle. If you need me, I’ll be nervously clutching it in my bomb shelter. My Japanese f*ck pillow isn’t going to defend itself.
-Thanks to Corey for the tip
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I think I just figured out why I hate Avatards. When they paint their faces blue, they look like Duke fans.
And, hey, Duke’s mascot is the BLUE DEVIL. Coincidence? I think not.
dreadlock dirt orgy rave party
Hey they did that in the other Jesus parable called The Matrix. WTF with all the dirty rave parties J-man?
“We’re a very creative church. I’ve got three Tivos. We just don’t like Satan.”
Taco Bell makes me gassy. I would like a strawberry. That was a wet fart.
I can say random shit too…Your move.
I’d argue that his derision of Avatar for idolizing “the primitive” is undermined by his reading passages from a two-thousand year old book, but I’m just a highly perceptive sexy atheist with a devotion to logical badassery. And lobster dog.
So Avatar’s a sin, but that fauxhawk isn’t?
*sips mimosa wryly*
Tivo makes you creative now?
Not surprisingly, Mark Driscoll was also once married to James Cameron.
Acting hip to sell Jesus is like masturbating while you drive work. It doesn’t work very well.
Ugly nerd Na’avi: “Hi, um, Sierratonin – would you, um, maybe, want to go with me to the…”
Hot Na’avi: “Ewww, no, go fuck a tree.”
“if Jake was honest and told her about any past human relationships? Or were they with his “old” body, not his Avatar body, so they don’t count? I don’t mean this as a joke. This would be a very touchy/complicated subject if the Na’vi mate once and only once.”
It’s simply wonderful how much someone can concern themselves with the issues of fictional characters’ lives, yet show no concern for their own lack of a human relationship.
False Jesus connects with his tree by using his ponytail, not nails.
False Jesus turns your water into wine. Then spikes it with Rohypnol so he can rape your pterodactyl.
Hey – that bandwagon looks comfy!
False Jesus really loves that fucking tree.
And on the third TiVo the Lord said; Let there be 700 Club. And Pat Robertson spread forth across the land and spake of the batshit crazy. The Lord saw this and said; calm down Pat, damn.
False Jesus rocks Sketchers and drops some knowledge about his homeboy J.C. in a poorly renovated nightclub.
Obviously this dude got inappropriately touched by Tinky Winky.
I think the root level objection is that Hipster McHolyPants and The Avatard Nation are competing for the hearts of the same disaffected, guillible outcasts in search of escape from their shitty little lives
I think Father too-cool-for-sunday-school is just worried that his followers would have the same idea he had when he saw the movie.
“They connect their tail? I wonder what it would be like to rub dick tips….”
He was just upset there were no naked little Na’vi boys running around playing with their tails.
“I’ve got three tivos, they each record 6 different shows at 6 different times on 6 different channels…holy shit!”
*lights self on fire*
My brother-in-law & his wife go to this church. She once had to ask during a game of Scattegories what the definition of “notorious” was. That’s it – just feel sorry for me.
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Huh – I find myself agreeing with Russell: I don’t think ugly Na’vi exist either. That’s right, it is my firm belief that they don’t exist at all. Utterly fictional.
There, I said it.
Ok, I have to speak up in defense of Christians here, being one myself and having seen Avatar. Yes, the principles put forth in Avatar are in conflict with God and our faith, but I think we’re also intelligent enough to realize that IT’S JUST A FUCKING MOVIE!
This is why avatards and christian fucktards should never be taken seriously.
Avatards, it’s a fucking movie! Nothing more. These are not only fictional characters but a fucking fictional race as well. WTF is wrong with you?
Christian fucktards, it’s a fucking movie! Nothing more. If the God you believe in is ok with your swearing in a nightclub-church and wearing of douchey fag pants, then I don’t see why he wouldn’t be ok with a fictional science fiction movie as well. WTF is wrong with you?