Sweet Mother Of God, Michael Bay Is Making A Benghazi Movie

Michael Bay continues to challenge himself artistically, and he may soon answer the question “how will Michael Bay work sluts and clowns into a movie about a terrorist attack?” with his next project, which is reportedly a film about the attacks on the Benghazi embassy that killed the ambassador. The project does make a sick sort of sense for the Transformers director, I always thought there was more to those attacks than meets the eye (*dodges tomato*).

Sources tell Variety that Bay is in early talks to direct Paramount’s “13 Hours,” which is based on the true story recounting the attack on the U.S. Special Mission Compound and a nearby CIA Annex in Benghazi, Libya, on the 11th anniversary of Sept. 11.

“Everyone knows that when the CIA evacuated the embassy they didn’t get there by sky surfing. What our movie presupposes is, maybe they did?”

Chuck Hogan penned the script based on Mitchell Zuckoff’s book “Thirteen Hours: A Firsthand Account of What Really Happened in Benghazi,” to which Paramount acquired rights in February before it was published.

I’m just picturing Michael Bay shooting his establishing shot of the embassy compound. An American flag fluttering in the foreground. A plane flies overhead. A giant Samsung logo somewhere. And in the calm before the storm, a raven-haired former Victoria Secret model playing “slutty bystander” leans over the open hood of her Camaro, lightly rapping at the radiator with a wrench, a bead of sweat tracing the arc of her heaving cleavage.

“But Mr. Bay,” an assistant pipes up, “This is supposed to be a Muslim country in the midst of a fundamentalist protest.”

“A what now? Look, kid, we need to establish that it’s hot. If you don’t like my style you can get off my lot.”

Bay said in August that while the next “Transformers” is already dated, he would not be returning to direct, and while this film will not feature the same elements, it still fits into his wheelhouse of action-heavy material and could bear similarities to Ridley Scott’s “Black Hawk Down” or even Bay’s own hostage pic “The Rock.” [Variety]

Yup, exactly like The Rock. Holy shit I can’t wait for this. Because when I think “sensitive political issue,” I think the guy who gave us Mudflap and Skids.