Senior Editor
09.03.08 48 Comments

When it was first discussed two years ago, the Tarzan project had Guillermo Del Toro and Master and Commander writer John Collee attached.  Now that Del Toro is busy with The Hobbit, they’ve signed up (ugh) Stephen Sommers, to direct a script by Stu Beattie.

With the first two “Mummy” movies, “The Scorpion King” and “Van Helsing,” Sommers, who is repped by WMA, has become a connoisseur of the big-budget, effects-driven spectacle. He recently finished shooting the summer 2009 Paramount tentpole, “G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra,” which Beattie came in to write for him.  [THR]

A connoisseur?  Have they actually seen any of those movies?  He’s not so much an appreciator of effects movies as he is a maker of really shitty ones.  Stephen Sommers is a film connoisseur like Thunderbird is a wine connoisseur.

Additional Stephen Sommers facts, via IMDB: Industrial Light & Magic jokingly created the “Stephen Sommers Scale” to measure the extent of digital effects used in a given movie scene. The four parts of the scale, from lowest to highest, are “What The Shot Needs”, “What The Computers Can Handle”, “Oh My God, The Computers Are About To Crash”, and finally “What Stephen Wants”.

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