I named this helicopter ‘Chopper Rotorway’.
- The group is already established at the start of the movie, so there won’t be a clichéd recruitment scene.
- Sylvester Stallone plays Barney “The Schizo” Ross, leader of The Expendables.
- Jason Statham plays Lee Christmas (really?), the second in command.
- Mickey Rourke plays “Tool” (heh heh), an arms dealer and tattoo parlor owner/artist.
- Jet Li plays Bao Thao. (That name’s not even English! Absurd.)
- Dolph Ludgren plays a sniper named Gunnar Jensen. Hang on. Stallone named a sniper “Gunnar”? You sly devil you. *slide whistle*
- Terry Crews is the comedy relief of group and plays Jet Li’s best friend, Hale Caesar. Wait, “Hale Caesar”? Is he wearing a toga and banging boys?
- Steve Austin plays “Dan Paine” (Pain? Okay, this is getting ridiculous.) and is Eric Roberts’s’s’s’s bodyguard.
- Randy Couture plays a demolitions expert named . . . wait for it . . . “Toll Road”. Okay, now he’s just f–king with us.
- David Zayas (I hope he’s a doctor) plays the evil dictator General Garza.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis have cameo roles.
- Eric Roberts is playing a corrupt C.I.A. agent.
- Dolph Lundgren “goes a bit rogue and winds up fighting Jet Li in the film.”
- David Zayas has said that his character is a villian but is not necessarily the antagonist.
P.S. “Potential spoiler” is my nickname for alcohol. Ha ha, I love you, Scotches!