05.11.09 9 years ago 31 Comments

Just about every variation of the death-row-inmates-fight-for-their-freedom-in-the-future plot has already been done.  But Gamer is totally new because this time, kids control the death-row inmates like a video game!  Gerard Butler plays the lead.  Gee, I wonder if he’s a former green beret/CIA Agent/Delta Force soldier who was wrongly imprisoned, and who’ll have to take down the game’s mastermind if he ever wants to see his supermodel wife/supermodel girlfriend/supermodel daughter again.

Additionally, according to IMDB, Milo Ventimiglia co-stars as “Rick Rape.”  Rape is the X button in the death row video game.  X rapes, R1 toggles your keistered narcotics, and there’s cheat code for toilet gin.  Toilet gin in turn unlocks “super rape mode.”

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