The King’s Speech just got even blander

The Weinstein Company announced today that they’ll be releasing in theaters a new PG-13 version of their best picture-winning film The King’s Speech.  The move is sure to come as a relief to the nation’s 13-17-year-olds, who’d long been breathlessly clamoring to see a historical drama about a repressed, middle-aged British man learning to manage his stammer.  CLAMOR NO MORE, TEENAGERS!  GATHER ROUND, AND FILL THINE HEARTS WITH FIRTH; THINE SOULS WITH MIRTH!

THE KING’S SPEECH PG-13, the family-friendly version of its Academy Award-winning historical drama will open on 1,000 screens nationwide on April 1, and will be the only version available in theatres. The announcement was made by TWC’s President of Theatrical Distribution and Home Entertainment Eric Lomis.

Said Lomis, “We are thankful to the MPAA for their wisdom and swift action in approving the release of THE KING’S SPEECH PG-13 release.  The action enables those to whom it speaks most directly – young  people who are troubled by stuttering, bullying and similar trials — to see it.”

The emotional impact of stuttering that was illuminated by THE KING’S SPEECH continues to be a topic of conversation with the recent statements by Vice President Joseph Biden about his own struggles with stammering.  The release of THE KING’S SPEECH PG-13 offers families nationwide access to a positive story about stuttering and overcoming obstacles and social stigmas. [From the official press release]

Yeah, and 50 Cent’s new movie is about cancer, which is a much bigger problem than stuttering, but that doesn’t mean anyone should see it.  The release doesn’t say whether Colin Firth’s “F_ck f_ckity f_ck” scene was cut or whether the MPAA just changed their rating based on the film dealing with such an “important issue” (*dismissive wank*).  But they do refer to the PG-13 film as a “version”, which would seem to imply that it is different.  If so, it’s nice that the PG-13 cut is now the only version being shown, because God forbid the 80% of us who don’t really care one way or another about swearing be allowed to make our own decisions free of the ever-vigilant morality police (whom I assume are mostly child-molesting priests and secretly-gay politicians anyway).  But if it turns out “raising awareness” is just a way to relax the standards of PG-13, I’m okay with that.  Remember when they showed that chick’s bush on regular television because she was one of the concentration camp Jews in Schindler’s List?  That was cool.