Oscar Bait: Da King 'as got a stammah 'e does

Senior Editor
09.23.10 20 Comments

Here’s the trailer for Toronto Film Festival People’s Choice Award winner and alleged Oscar bait, The King’s Speech, starring Colin Firfff and Helena Bonham Carter, from director Tom Hooper.  Now, I’m not one of those people who immediately sneers when they hear the words “Oscar contender”, because for every couple of Atonements, there’s usually a Hurt Locker or a The Wrestler.  But this movie… Jeez.  It’s like if you boiled a bunch of other Oscar movies down until they became a thick gravy, and then  spoonfed only that to a baby for the first 10 years of its life, and that baby grew up to be Colin Firth.

George VI, also known as Bertie, reluctantly takes the throne of England when his brother, Edward, abdicates in 1936. The unprepared king turns to a radical speech therapist, Lionel Logue, to help overcome his nervous stutter and the two forge a friendship.

Awwww sheeeeeeeit, rich white people be havin’ problems, son!  S-s-s-s-s-s-spit it out, flinchy!  BUT WHERE ARE THE DYSLEXIC NAZIS?  Oi, bugga me norks, guv, da king ‘as got a stutter ‘e ‘as!  Ev’re toime ‘e talks, ‘e gits ‘is tongue aw tied up loike me undacrackaz.  What wiw we tew da proime ministah?  …And that’s when he cured his stutter, made a friend, finally told the woman he loved how he felt, and saved England from Hitler.

“Why should I waste my time listening to you?”


In conclusion, in Africa it’s bling-bang, yer changin’ that boy’s life, (*dismissive wank*), forever and ever amen.

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