The new Spider-Man looks like a giraffe, wears track shoes

Senior Editor
02.06.12 20 Comments

Andrew Garfield and Drama Llama: Separated at birth?

Sony just released a new batch of character images from Marc Webb’s The Amazing Spider-Man on their official website, and I think I speak for everyone when I say SWEET MOTHER OF PISS, GET A LOAD OF THAT KID’S NECK! Jesus, Scarfield’s got a neck like Manute Bol’s forearm. He must have to look at the sky and do Merton Hanks’ chicken neck dance every time he wants to swallow something, it’s no wonder he stays so thin. If Andrew Garfield and Mia Wasikowska ever got together, they could braid necks and feed each other acacia leaves. Which would be adorable, by the way. Someone call their publicists.

Meanwhile, it appears that Spider-Man is wearing track shoes or something:

The angle of his foot is physically impossible outside of a Picasso painting, so I’m assuming this was a deliberate attempt to get people talking about whatever’s on the bottom of his shoes, much like they did with putting web shooters on his wrists, hoping everyone be like, “OMG, gadgets, I’m totally interested now!” Which of course worked, as “OMG, gadgets!” is pretty much the nerd mission statement. Also, this is neither here nor there, but that giant hand poised to squirt goo everywhere coming out from between his legs makes a hell of a Freudian statement.

Anyway, here’s Marc Webb defending Sony’s marketing campaign calling the Amazing Spider-Man the “untold story!” (when it’s very obviously a previously-told story).

It’s really important for us to be able to communicate that this isn’t a remake of Sam Raimi’s movie. There’s a new territory, there’s a new villain, it’s a different Peter Parker.

There’s this trickster quality we were very keen on exploring, with that humor and that fun and that wisecracking stuff. We wanted to keep that alive, but we wanted it to be realistic. We wanted that humor to come from a real place. My aim was to create a world where you could feel all those emotions. There are certainly darker, more intense feelings in this movie. There is betrayal, there is tragedy, but there’s also humor and romance. So it’s a very complex bouquet of emotions, but what you have to tread on is what feels authentic and what feels real, and you have to earn those different emotions. There are moments of furiousness and gravity, absolutely. But are there moments of humor and levity and whimsy? Absolutely. Andrew was really great. He used this term to describe Peter Parker in Spider-Man and Spider-Man in particular: he’s a trickster. He was like “How would Spider-Man web this guy? He’d give him a wedgy or he’d do some awful graffiti.” There’s a punk rock quality to Peter Parker that’s really irreverent and fun and that’s something that Andrew embodies in a way that we haven’t seen before. [Comic-Con Magazine via LatinoReview]

Damn, son, if wedgies are punk rock, I’m Sid Vicious. (*pulls underwear from crack, cuts chest with razor blade*)

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