‘The Ultimate Charles Bronson Movie Trailer’ Is A Feast Of Leathery Vigilantism

Lots of movie stars are famous for having “a particular set of skills,” as it were, but perhaps no actor (and audience) was as content to do almost the same exact thing over and over again as Charles Bronson. This glorious new supercut from Ben Craw over at HuffPo combines all Charles Bronson movies into one to show just how similar they were. And I say that reverently. Charles Bronson movies are like AC/DC songs, some may be better than others but for the most part you don’t really want them to deviate from a perfect formula.

Charles Bronson’s job was to waste scumbags and look leathery, not necessarily in that order, and no one did it as well as he did. No one could bring quite the level of grizzled badassery as a guy who lost his virginity at five, took up chewing tobacco at six, and spent his formative years having to attend school in a dress. He makes Johnny Cash’s boy named Sue look like a prep school lacrosse player.

There are some amazing voice-over lines in this, but I think my favorite is “Charles Bronson takes the law into his own hands.. And squeezes it to death.”

Damn, son. By the way, this is how a real man puts on cologne: