As soon as I saw this poster for Universal Studios Hollywood’s new “Fast & Furious: Supercharged” ride I had to show it to Danger Guerrero, and I made sure to bring smelling salts (Danger was a Fast/Furious superfan when Paul Walker was still rocking frosted tips). It’s glorious. Apparently Vin Diesel’s arms are 17 feet long. But hey, proportion schmaschmortion, LOOK AT HIM LIVE HIS LIFE A QUARTER MILE AT A TIME! That part is accurately rendered. See also: the way not even dangling from an exploding helicopter is enough to make him change facial expressions. This sh*t is just an average Wednesday.
Not that any of this matters beyond the thousand words that beautiful f*cking masterpiece is screaming in my face while Vin Diesel revs his GTO engine, but here’s the press release, announcing the release of some more promotional images announcing the ride (via Slash Film):
A collection of six images, each featuring the stars of the ride depicted in a variety of action sequences, will be unveiled sequentially beginning today with a group shot of the characters racing alongside a Studio Tour tram. A lengthier, more complex look at the making-of this revolutionary new attraction, featuring insightful perspective and commentary from the cast and producers, is also being released.
“Fast & Furious—Supercharged” is a technologically advanced, epic ride that reunites stars from the Fast & Furious series in a groundbreaking mega-attraction designed to catapult guests into the high-stakes underground world of street racing at perceived speeds in excess of 120 miles per hour. This high-octane ride is conceived as a new installment to the Fast & Furious franchise and will debut as the grand finale to Universal Studios Hollywood’s behind-the-scenes Studio Tour that can only be experienced at The Entertainment Capital of L.A.
This dynamic hydraulic motion-based thrill ride will tell an original Fast & Furious story, fusing sophisticated hyper-realistic special effects with a state-of-the-art 3D audio system and 3D-HD imagery projected onto the world’s longest and most expansive 360-degree screen. Spanning nearly 400 feet in length to encircle Studio Tour guests within a newly constructed 65,000-square-foot structure on the legendary backlot, the sprawling custom-built screen will employ 34, 4K projectors and a sophisticated projection configuration system to envelop guests in unprecedented realism.
God, I can’t wait for the cast’s insightful commentary.
TYRESE: Yo, this ride just went from mission impossible to mission in-freakin-sanity! I mean it’s straight up crazy!
VIN DIESEL: This ride… it’s a pretty cool ride… I remember when I used to go on rides with my brother, Pablo. He always used to say we were gonna go on a ride together someday… Little did I know we were already on it… Riding on that ride they call life… (*starts singing “See You Again,” ambles into the sunset on stilts*)
MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ: (*mad dogs cameraman until he sheepishly turns away*)