08.19.09 9 years ago 22 Comments

My Lord, if ever there was a trailer that could just not SHUT THE F–K UP, this is surely it. Excuse me *cough* what I meant to say is that after the jump, I’ve got the hilarious, new trailer for the romantic comedy When In Rome, starring Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel. The film comes from director Mark Steven Johnson, who aside from having three first names like a serial killer, is the man responsible for such gems as Simon Birch, Elektra and Ghost Rider *flashes gang sign*. I would rather shoot myself in both feet with a speargun than write a synopsis for the film, but that just seems unfair to my soft, child-like hands, when IMDB‘s staff will do it anyway:

Beth Harper (Bell) is a young, successful real estate agent … but she’s completely unlucky in love. However, when the New Yorker travels to Rome to see her newlywed sister, she impulsively steals some coins from a reputed fountain of love, and is then aggressively pursued by a band of wannabe lovers.

3:29…the trailer for When In Rome is 3:29 long. F-k my face, the terrorists have truly won. Do you have any idea how long three minutes and twenty-nine seconds of Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel really is? That’s nearly the entire length of Skynyrd’s Free Bird guitar solo. That’s like 3 1/2 cash4gold commercials back-to-back. That’s over 500% longer than the majority of my sexual encounters (Cub Scout years excluded). Anyway, what the sh-t does my opinion matter? I’m sure that every one of my ex girlfriends will be taking their current boyfriends to this and, in turn, it will probably make 9 assillion dollars. At the very least, I’m certain that my ex Hana will be seeing this…but she went to esthetician school, so automatically her actions are void.


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