This Week In Movie Posters: Bad Moms, Neon Damons, And Jonah Hill Does Scarface

This week in This Week in Posters, we start, thanks to the curse of alphabetical order, with Bad Moms. Which apparently comes to us via the writers of The Hangover, a selling point that may seem outdated, but still sounds a lot better than “from the writers of Ghosts of Christmas Past.”

Anyway, I have an idea: maybe instead of telling us which flavor of dull-ass mom each character is, maybe tell us what exactly it is that makes them “bad.” Because if this is just another half-assed Hangover clone and no one becomes a race-baiting demagogue or disenfranchises the poor I’m going to be bored. Oh gosh, did the cardigan lady drink some schnapps again? My stars.

She’s such a stay-at-home mom she just “stayed home” when they were shooting these pictures and had them photoshop her instead. Bad mom indeed. I’m glad that she has a necklace that says “mom” so that I’d know she’s a mom.

Does anyone remember Mom’s Night Out? Is Bad Moms the first secular remake of a faith-based film? Also, why does every character have to pose in front of that ugly ass door?

If this mom is so perfect, why is she tying off her belt instead using those perfectly good belt holes? Good moms use the belt holes they were given where I’m from.

Jaden Smith’s mom as the judgy one? Really casting against type there, I guess.

Roughly how boring would I have to be to think this looks interesting?

Ooh la la, a bare midriff? That seems rather revealing for this time period. Is she playing a prostitute? A stripper? Howdy, doll face. I got a coupla buffalo nickels with your name on ’em, now how bout a gander at those gams?