This Week In Movie Posters: Mel Gibson Gets Grizzled, And Kevin Smith’s ‘Yoga Hosers’ Keep Hosing

I’m very excited to start this week’s This Week in Movie Posters with Blood Father, the movie where Mel Gibson plays a tattoo artist version of Liam Neeson. I know this because I already saw the trailer, I didn’t just glean all that from the poster. Though it is pretty cool that the bottom of the poster looks like a tramp stamp. Get it? “Blood father” is like a tattoo pun.

Being super grizzled really suits Mel Gibson. He sort of had that awkward phase between hot heartthrob and old badass, but I think he’s finally settled into leather-skinned ass kicker mode. And this looks like an absolute classic of the scared-daughter-on-the-phone genre.

Is this about three kids with super cool hair who start a band? That’s what I’m getting. And fair enough, I’m intrigued.

BREAKING A MONSTER chronicles the break-out year of the band UNLOCKING THE TRUTH, following 13-year-old members Alec Atkins, Malcolm Brickhouse and Jarad Dawkins as they first encounter stardom and the music industry, transcending childhood to become the rock stars they always dreamed of being. [IMDb]

Yep, that sounds great. Also, “Malcolm Brickhouse” is a fantastic name. Apparently they’re a seventh-grade heavy metal band.

Two brothers, separated at birth. One became a gangster and the other… uh… a draftsman?

Dear poster designers: See what you can do without turning horizon line sideways? Great stuff. Also, it’s a powerful move when you’ve got a pull quote from Meryl Streep and you just leave her font the same size as everyone else’s. It’s Meryl Streep! The woman is an institution! If she said something nice about me I would get it tattooed on my forehead.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this movie takes place in Asia. Apparently that’s all we should know about it.

Yet another beautiful poster for Nicolas Winding Refn’s The Neon Demon. That being said, all you’d need is another one of those couches with a dude in it for this to become the world’s artsiest Cialis ad. Just imagine noodly blues guitar and some husky voiced announcer saying “You know what you want…”

I’m intrigued by “the world of ultra senior tennis,” but everything else about this poster is just sort of confusing. Are the balls supposed to be a testicle metaphor or Christmas ornaments? And if these are “ultra senior” balls, shouldn’t they be danglier? Old people have the dangliest balls, it is known.