This Week In Posters: Matthew McConaughey Is Searching For Gold (Again)

This week’s holiday-delayed edition of This Week In Movie Posters begins with Abattoir, from Saw II, III, and IV director Darren Lynn Bousman. “Abattoir” is a fancy French word for “slaughterhouse,” so he’s really branching out, thematically. The word “abattoir” kind of reminds me of my favorite Moe line from The Simpsons.

“‘Abattoir.’ Hey, fellas, ‘abattoooooir.'”

“Why, what do you call it?”

“Death hole.”

Anyway, they were clearly going for an “evil Willy Wonka” vibe in this poster. Which is nice, because I like my torture porn like I like my Christmas trees — campy and playful, with extra canes.

This poster is kind of perfect. It helps that Rami Malek is an easy poster subject, but it feels like they really took his frog-like eyeballs as inspiration and ran with it. He’s just sort of popping up from his office lily pad back there, ribbit ribbit. I don’t really know what this movie’s about, but the poster fills me with this anticipatory energy, like he’s about to snatch a fly with his tongue. I want to be there to see that. Long live the frog man.

“Cardboard boxer.” Wow. Sometimes there’s a title, I mean a title… so… pungent, that it just overwhelms everything else. That is sure a play on words. “Now he’s in for the fight of his life… with homelessness.”

Terrence Howard was also in The Fighter. Is there some kind of award he could win for always being in the most movies that use boxing as a metaphor for life’s struggles?