This Week In Movie Posters: ‘Suicide Squad’ Vs Suction Cup Statham

This week in This Week In Movie Posters actually begins with a cool one, for American Pastoral. How much cooler is it to turn the perspective 90 degrees for a specific graphic effect than to do the dreaded diagonal, where you tilt the horizon line 45 degrees for no reason? I tell you, this guy is poster designing like a house on fire (sorry for that). I’m also curious who screenwriter John Romano killed to get his name before the director’s. You don’t see that one too often. Seems like Ewan McGregor being falsely humble. Yeah, yeah, you’re a man who needs no introduction, settle down, Trainspotting.

That’s a lot of words at the top, though they are important words I suppose. Also I imagine that those ridiculous jackets are what “normcore” looked like in the 60s.

Strong poster here for Bridget Jones’s Baby. It’s minimalist, because if you have Colin Firth, don’t mess about, just show us the Firth. My only advice here is not to stare into his eyes too long, unless you want your loins to burst into flames.

I like to think Colin Firth could make you feel underdressed during sex.

Big problem, eh? I assume this is Bridget Jones’s “surprised to be pregnant” face, then? Now, I don’t want to say this seems stale just because it’s old, but consider: Bridget Jones came out in 2001. That’s the same year as The Fast And The Furious. In that time, Dom Toretto went from sandwich shop owner to international terrorist hunter, while Bridget Jones went from single working lady to single working lady who may be having a child. I feel like I could use more of an arc here.

I like the idea that someone thought the way to keep Bridget Jones current was to steal a heartthrob from Grey’s Anatomy. Also, Grey’s Anatomy must have an incredible publicist, because I’ve never watched that show and still I know this guy is McDreamy. Good luck, McDreamy. This time you’ve messed with the wrong Firth.

Oh sure, it’s cool when Eddie Redmayne does it, but when I get photographed playing with my wand on the subway platform… Anyway, it seems crazy to think that throughout his entire career, Eddie Redmayne has never played a wizard before this. At least not officially.

This poster for Coy is like a fun visual puzzle. Who is Coy? Okay, it’s a child. What’s the child seeing? Cameras, it looks like. Why are people photographing the child? Because he or she is important, it would seem. Why is the child important? I need this movie to tell me! Like Sarah McLachlan, this poster did a great job building a mystery.