This Week in Posters, starring Angry Danny Trejo in a Cosby Sweater

Senior Editor
10.05.11 16 Comments

Here’s one of a long series of posters for A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas (gee, I wonder if there will be any drug puns). Hey! Danny Trejo is in this? That’s great. I’ll be honest, Angry Danny Trejo in a Cosby Sweater might be my new favorite thing. I love Danny Trejo. He’s like the crazy Mexican uncle who went to prison who I’m afraid might rape me I never had. …Hold on, I think I hear someone at the door. (*opens door*)
DANNY TREJO: Que pasó, homes, homes? I hear you’re lookeen for an uncle. …So where’s your aunt at?

Ha, get it? He wants to “get dope.” And by that I mean “obtain marijuana,” (*wink, wink, nudge nudge*)
Wait, is there even a non-weed way to interpret that?
“High Holidays.” Okay, that’s at least a double entendre. But wait, aren’t high holidays a Jew thing? Oh, Hollywood. Hollywood making a Christmas movie is like Kirk Cameron making a Chanukah movie.
Jesus has big hands.
To all closeted actors who are afraid no one will accept them as a hetero lead if they were openly gay — just look at Neil Patrick Harris. I’m not saying every gay actor has the charisma to pull this off, but everyone seems perfectly willing to accept a gay-as-two-unicorns-69ing actor like NPH as a poon-swilling cocksman. He’s just that cool.
Oh I get it, loaded like on weed, right?
Is that just a random kid eating pot cookies? Am I wrong for assuming they’re pot cookies? Or by ‘magic’ do you mean ‘magic mushrooms?’ I just assume all these are drug puns. Sidenote: have you noticed only old people call them “magic mushrooms?” I think my mom asked me if I ever tried “magic mushrooms.” Yeah, mom, right after I smoked “the pot.”
Okay, I understand the “get baked” pun, but where does the inept robot pillsbury doughboy who keeps burning food come in? I’m so confused.
You’re right, I haven’t heard of him. I wonder if I just started letting my hair grow wild and dressing in a tie with a rumpled shirt and smoking a pipe if people would just assume I’m some kind of genius. It seems like a worthwhile experiment.
Daniel Craig narrates a Planet Earth documentary about cheetahs? I’m there. But I also feel like this poster was taken from the point of view of a turd it’s trying to bury.
A poster called “Yogawoman” and it doesn’t even have a woman in yoga pants? Come on, man, that’s the only cool thing about yoga. I love that those are acceptable as street clothes nowadays.
This is one of twelve new Hunger Games posters. Each of the twelve districts has its own seal and Facebook page. I haven’t read the books, so as you can imagine, this is fascinating for me.

Unlike Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve has so many stars they didn’t even try to fit them in the poster. Which makes it weird that they still went for the same design aesthetic. I’m not sure floating clip art have quite the same appeal as floating celebrity heads.
Simple, yet effective. That’s the cool thing about muppets. You just show people the muppets and they’re like, “Yay, muppets!”
I think muppets are appealing for the same reason even bad practical effects and animatronics are preferable to CGI. You go to Disneyland and there are animatronics there from the seventies, and they still look pretty cool, even after 26 million 12-year-olds have spit on them.
Is that Animal? Animal is the Rip Torn of Muppets.

I have nothing to add to this poster that I already posted other than to say that IamPhoenix’s Photoshop parody is delightful:
The first of a series of posters for Lars Von Trier’s Melancholia. Yes, one of them is just a picture of the director. And not even a good picture of him. Clearly, this is the seminal Lars Von Trier photo:
Oh, jah, I’ve written a curse vord on mein hand, aren’t I naughty? Tee hee.
SKARSGARD! Nice to see a tall handsome nordic actor and I share the same sexual philosophy.
Oh I see, they’re expecting something. Impending doom, perhaps? Nah, couldn’t be.
When John Hurt wears nice clothes, it always looks like someone put a tux on a hobo as a joke.
Enjoy that child, Jack Bauer, he’s going to hit puberty one day.
(*fox bursts through fabric of reality*) “Chaos reig–” (*sees Kirsten Dunst’s huge tits*) “Oh. Oops.” (*disappears through puddle of ectoplasm*)
“Looks like “punch” isn’t the only thing this preacher’s packin’!” -Pete Hammond, poster critic.
I like it. And they managed to get through the entire poster without a single Dreamworks face. Impressive.
Their heads are drawn to scale.

I never saw Happy Feet. What’s the deal with it? It looks sort of like a dead-eyed version of Ice Age.
Mayor of Cool Town, eh? Well guess what, I’m the Shredurer of Gnarlottesville.

Also, I think I could’ve gone a few more years without knowing Pink’s real name.

Are there two ants bursting through the fabric of reality? This movie is starting to look trippy. Also, bring back the puffin. Puffins are harsh.
This movie looks less appealing than a root canal, but I like the poster.
It kind of looks like the poster for that new Almodovar movie. My, this was valuable input, wasn’t it.
Did Eames invent the diagonal-stuff-on-posters trend? Because if so, I owe that guy a punchin.
I’d like to see a comparison of Dane Cook, Next Biggest Thing as depicted in posters and the more recent, Dane Cook, Tragic Figure.
I always thought it was “Your last easy day was yesterday!” My stupid football coach couldn’t get anything right, apparently.

[via IMPA]

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