This Week In Movie Posters: Italian-Face Miles Teller Vs. Chinese Matt Damon

This week’s This Week in Posters begins with The Handmaiden, from Oldboy director Park Chan-Wook. This is one hell of an unsettling poster, the theme of which seems to be “A man’s touch always comes with nefarious intentions.” (If only we could demonstrate it with our actual hands in real life.)

I also like the idea that it’s called The Handmaiden because she has a hand on her head. I hope that’s there for the entire movie. Also, strong eyebrows on the guy on the left.

If the goal of this poster was to make me Google whether Billy Bob Thornton is returning for this one, success (he is!). In the process, I also found out Doug Ellin from Entourage co-wrote the screenplay. And that, kids, demonstrates the law of unintended consequences.

Haha, he’s peeing on the money.

And here we have the first small teaser poster for Transformers: The Last Knight. The title is written in a joke font, which seems fitting for something that looks like a joke movie. Is this about… a robot knight slaying robot dinosaurs on a space planet? I don’t remember that from the cartoons.

Here’s a pretty cool poster for The Blackcoat’s Daughter, which not only has a cool cell-splitting design, they even lined up the names with the corresponding faces! Also, they made the font for the tagline super small, like they knew it was so badass that making people search for it would make it even creepier. Like you’re just banging around the kitchen looking for a tea cozy and you open an unassuming drawer and then BOOM, it’s the Babadook. You just got surprise Babadooked. That’s what this tagline is like. Which is a good thing, I’m saying.

I was staring at the face on the left, thinking how perfectly it expressed my feelings on seeing Miles Teller in Italian-face…

…for a full two minutes before I even realized it was Aaron Eckhart. Mama Mia, that’s a spicy-a bald pate.