FilmDrunk

This Week In Posters: ‘Rings,’ The Totally Necessary Ouija Sequel, And ‘La La Land’

This week in This Week in Posters begins with this lovely Spanish poster for Bastille Day, in which the Eiffel Tower (but never any other Paris landmarks!) seems to be under attack by some kind of superimposed fireball. Ay dios mio! Also, is “eye for eye, tooth for tooth” is some kind of play on words in Spanish? Becomes I’m not entirely sure what that has to do with a terror attack on Paris. Are the terrorists mad that they abolished capital punishment?

Richard Madden from “Juego De Tronos” (Robb Stark) looks like he’s in the middle of a modeling shoot. You think that’s part of the plot? That he has to drop everything and cancel his catalogue debut to save Paris? “The terrorists are here, shut down that wind machine! And someone help me blot all this baby oil!”

My God, how many of these are there? I assume Tyler Perry employs a person to pump out parody posters from the first day of shooting until release. That seems like a fun job. All you have to do is replace someone in the original with Madea. The punchline is the same every time. “Haha, get it? It’s Madea.”

I want to sit next to someone during a Madea movie and every time Tyler Perry shows up in drag lean over and whisper “That’s Madea.”

I like this juxtaposition of determined, thoughtful Mark Wahlberg next to the Deepwater Horizon accident. You can practically hear him thinking “If I woulda been there, it nevah woulda happened.”

“Come at me, oil spill! Pow, right in the kissah!”

Oh hey, it’s a film about my boudoir.

I kid, but seriously, when did “girl with hair covering her face” become the international symbol for scary movie?

Aw, who’s a good poster. Are you a good poster? You’re a good poster, yes you are. What a good poster you are, that’s a good poster.

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