This week in This Week In Posters, we begin with Taraji P. Henson in Acrimony, or as I like to call it, Snakes On Her Brain. I kid, I kid, it’s a cool poster. Any guesses what it’s about? Infidelity? I’m going with “taut psychological thriller.”
Again, I don’t have a clear sense of what this is about, but damn that’s a cool poster. I didn’t even notice the people doin’ it inside her blood tear at first. This has been upgraded to “taut psychological sex thriller with tasteful nudity.”
Are all of the faces Blake Lively? This design is weird and I can’t stop looking at it. Is she speaking sign language to herself?
This appears to be a film about Jena Malone’s haunted vagina.
I am all in on Bill Pullman playing a down-on-his-luck cowboy. He looks like he’s about to sell me some Pace picante sauce. I like to imagine that he whistles a lot when he talks.
Can we have a moratorium on superhero posters arranged in front of abstract metal thingies? Anyway, someone on Reddit pointed out that the guy who played Bilbo and the guy who played Gollum are the “Tolkien white guys,” and I’m not going to do better than that joke.
Whoa! I like that she has a key in her mouth and the poster is in Spanish. As if to say “where is the terror? Aqui.”
Good Lord, if you ever wanted to see how not to do a silhouette poster, this would be the beau ideal. The design is bad. The cutout of his hair is lazy. The facial expression is… semi-comatose. Even the noose placement is bad. Shouldn’t it be dangling from the crossbar of the H or the A instead of just hanging from a vertical beam? That’s not how gallows work.
They’re still doing a good job with these Justice League posters. The saturated colors look great and for some reason the water spray looks much cooler than the usual “dirt and dust flying everywhere” poster trend.
“His passion will never be disabled” is easily this week’s best tagline. I have a lot of other jokes to make about this but pretty much all of them will ensure I end up in hell.
“It’s like the city is another character.”
I want to take a date to this, and every time the wildfire shows up nudge my date and go “That’s the fire.”
What are you all looking at and why is Miles Teller such a dang rebel? That being said, Josh Brolin sure has a Mt. Rushmore-ass face.
You could absolutely not find a better way to sell me on Paddington 2 than with the news that Paddington has a nice English grandmother.
I appreciate that they lined the faces up with the names and that the kid doesn’t have nearly as much superfluous hair as most child actors. But then they ruined it with the weird arm photoshopping.
Can a color scheme be incredibly British?
That is a magnificent outfit and Hugh Grant should’ve been playing this character all along.
Oh look, the bear wants to play bridge.
Hey, so uh… did Guillermo Del Toro make a movie about a girl who bangs a seahorse? Have you ever seen that video of the seahorse giving birth? Dating one looks… exhausting.
Wow. I don’t entirely understand what’s happening in this poster but it’s cool as hell. It looks like a Dali painting.
The declassified story of the horse soldiers! Hell yes. Though it’s pretty weak that in a story about the horse soldiers they don’t even tell us who the horse actors are.
Last week I complained about how the Wonder posters were being too coy, and this was basically the straightforward poster I was advocating for. So, uh… much better!
A “killer twist” because the train is twisting? Sure, why not. It looks like more of a turn to me, but whatever, close enough to meet the legal definition of a play on words. Is that an ice pick? Fancy.
I want to do the normal thing and complain about them not lining up the faces with the names, but hot damn, an Australian Western with Australia’s most underrated character actor Bryan Brown? Hell and yes.
I don’t know that we need a character poster for Mrs. Churchill, but sure, why not. I’m not sure why critics even write whole reviews when the marketing department only wants one word. SPECTACULAR. INCHOATE. DUPLICITOUS. TUMESCENT.
Oh hell yes, Ben Mendelsohn as King George VI? The only drawback of this is it’s going to make me wish I was going to see a movie about Ben Mendelsohn as George rather than the Churchill thing.
I don’t know who Elizabeth Layton is without looking it up, but I bet she’s got moxie.
Oh good, my favorite biopics all star tastefully dressed viscounts.