This Week In Movie Posters: Yes, Tom Cruise Is Really In A ‘Mummy’ Movie

This week in This Week in Movie Posters, we begin with this Asian poster for The Accountant, and I’m just happy to see that another continent will finally get to enjoy the magic of Ben Affleck as an autistic accountant who snaps necks and struggles with emotional cues. Those out of focus rifles on the wall are a nice, subtle touch.

And here we have the foster for Almost Paris, directed by Martin Scorsese’s daughter, Domenica Cameron-Scorsese. This one appears to be some kind of test to see how many different kinds of fonts can fit on one poster. That actor font up there is particularly unreadable in smaller form, but maybe that was deliberate, since I’ve never heard of most of these people. Also, “Talent Magazine” sounds like a made up thing. “A delightful romance!” says Definitely Not Nepotism Illustrated.

Anyway, I definitely want to check this out, if only to root for the righteous dude blasting his traps in the sleeveless tee up there. God I hope he steals this dork’s girl.

I don’t know what’s up with Cars 3. Between this and the sort of depressing trailer, it all feels a bit dramatic for a series that stars Larry the Cable Guy as Mater the tow truck.

I’m getting an accident-scene-from-Days-of-Thunder vibe from this one. Which means I’m now imagining Larry the Cable Guy Tow Truck showing up in the next scene to tell the handsome young racecar he’s paralyzed as the heart monitor beeps in the background.

Is Deniro playing Richard Belzer? Or maybe Richard Lewis? Those are the only comedians I can imagine dressing like that. Anyway, I like the simple design. The title mostly tells you what it’s about, and with that cast I don’t need to see their floating heads to know who they are.

It took me a minute to realize those were the guy’s knees. Otherwise this poster… pretty much looks like a guy gettin’ a beej. No exit? Heck, who’s trying to leave?

“Come with me, and I will show you the traditional hats of my people. Here, take this frozen caterpillar as a token of friendship.”