Three Countries Hate Captain America

Senior Writer
07.05.11 26 Comments

Sorry, Drunkards, our fair leader seems to be missing today. Vinnie must not be taking the Casey Anthony verdict very well. Poor guy, he just loves justice.

As it is pretty common with American movie distribution, Paramount and Marvel Studios knew that some countries wouldn’t be too keen on showing a movie that has such an America-friendly title, such as Captain America. But that didn’t stop them from putting their collective foot down and flexing some muscle against the rest of the world, telling them that they have a choice – they could call it Captain America: The First Avenger, just The First Avenger, or they could plant their lips on our red, white and blue butts and kiss the movie goodbye.

And wouldn’t you know it… all of the countries were pretty much cool with Captain America: The First Avenger. However, there were three countries that decided that they would rather not support us capitalist pigs.

Interestingly, most international distributors believed the franchise name was so identifiable that not using “Captain America” in the title could risk losing ticket sales.

Spokespeople for Marvel and Paramount declined to comment on why Russia, Ukraine and South Korea opted for The First Avenger. (The Hollywood Reporter)

Russia, I can understand. They’re still bitter about that whole cold war thing. Ukraine? Eh, they’ve always been Russia’s lap dog, following them around and sniffing Moscow’s butt for favors. But South Korea? I am just shocked. Have we not always been there for you, South Korea? We make fun of Kim Jong-Il and protect you from his craziness all the time. And this is how you repay us? Next you’re going to act like you didn’t learn to appreciate breakdancing from Channing Tatum and Vin Diesel. You’ve changed, South Korea. You’ve changed.

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