Tom Cruise Is Remaking The Magnificent Seven

05.23.12 6 years ago 28 Comments

For all the criticism that it has received, The Expendables was at the very least its own movie. But now MGM and Tom Cruise are going to borrow Sylvester Stallone’s already-borrowed formula of cramming the biggest action stars in the world into one mega-testosterone-explosion and dilute it with the current fad of remaking every good film of the last 50 years.

Up next for MGM and Cruise – The Magnificent Seven. The 1960 Western was the original Expendables, as it starred Steve McQueen, Yul Brynner, James Coburn, Charles Bronson, Eli Wallach, Robert Vaughn… damn, I’m getting musky and grizzled just thinking about it. And I’m sure that Cruise is going to put together the manliest macho group of men’s men that he can muster, because it would finally crush those rumorsssssss about him for good.

Since being resurrected from the purgatory of bankruptcy, studio MGM has been on a remaking tear, announcing updates and reboots of library titles “Carrie,” “RoboCop,” “War Games,” “Death Wish,” “Valley Girl,” “Poltergeist,” and “Red Dawn.” Remaking a beloved classic like “The Magnificent Seven” is thus not so much of a surprise, even if it is a daunting task considering the esteem with which people hold the original. Having a major movie star like Cruise aboard should, of course, allay most fears. (Via MSN)

Hold on – Valley Girl? Who the hell has been sitting around, pining for the re-telling of the 29-year old story of two California stereotypes falling in love? Well, other than Nic Cage. If we’re just going to remake every movie that someone in a conference room suddenly remembers, would it be too much to ask for a remake of Just One of the Guys starring Vanessa Hudgens? I don’t ask for much.

At the very least, I just hope Cruise’s new Magnificent Seven features my favorite GIF come to life…

Around The Web