Total Recall Remake Has Kate Beckinsale's Ass, 'Splosions

The idea to remake Total Recall first 2010, and just when you thought those memories had been repressed, we learned that it would be set entirely on Earth and probably be rated PG-13. If you haven’t already thrown your computer at a chicken, you can watch the teaser for it below.

DOWNSIDE: Someone’s remaking Total Recall.

UPSIDE: ‘Splosions, Kate Beckinsale’s ass, Colin Farrell’s eyebrows.

Total Recall is an action thriller about reality and memory, inspired anew [f*ck you, ‘inspired anew’ is not even a thing] by the famous short story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick. Welcome to Rekall, the company that can turn your dreams into real memories. For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), even though he’s got a beautiful wife (Kate Beckinsale) whom he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life – real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police – controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston) – there is no one Quaid can trust, except possibly a rebel fighter (Jessica Biel) working for the head of the underground resistance (Bill Nighy). The line between fantasy and reality gets blurred and the fate of his world hangs in the balance as Quaid discovers his true identity, his true love, and his true fate. The film is directed by Len Wiseman. The screenplay is by Kurt Wimmer and Mark Bomback and the screen story is by Ronald Shusett & Dan O’Bannon and Jon Povill.

Total Recall will be released in theaters nationwide on August 3, 2012. [press release via ComingSoon]

Kate Beckinsale is of course married to Len Wiseman, continuing the grand tradition of middling directors pimping out their hot wives for action movies, not that there’s anything wrong with that. If this remake thing doesn’t work out, I’d love to see a commentary track of Arnold Schwarzenegger talking about Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel’s ass for two hours.