The Downton Abbey Dude Wrote a Romeo & Juliet Movie for Some Wiener Kids

Yesterday Teen Vogue released the first poster and now today MTV has the first trailer (embedded below) for a new Romeo and Juliet adaptation written by Downton Abbey’s Julian Fellowes and directed by Italy’s Carlos Carlei. It stars Hailee Steinfeld from True Grit and super twink Douglas Booth as the star-crossed lovaaahs, with Paul Giamatti in a supporting role. Hopefully with Andy Serkis mo-capping the velociraptor attacks, but that bit remains to be seen.

I’ve never quite understood the desire to do a faithful adaptation of something that’s been adapted billions and squillions and trillions of times already (and was an adaptation of something else to begin with), but the fact that they released the first poster on Teen Vogue and the trailer on MTV should give you a clue as to who they’re trying to sell it to. I wonder if Shakespeare knew that the main audience for a play he wrote about how silly and melodramatic teenagers are would be silly, melodramatic teenagers. “Aren’t our lives awesome and important?” they’d say to each other, as the rest of the world gagged and tried to refrain from melvining them.

Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare’s epic and searing tale of love, is revitalized on screen by writer Julian Fellowes (Downton Abbey) and director Carlos Carlei (The Flight of the Innocent). An ageless story from the world’s most renowned author is reimagined for the 21st Century. This adaptation is told in the lush traditional setting it was written, but gives a new generation the chance to fall in love with the enduring legend. With an all-star cast including Hailee Steinfeld, Douglas Booth, Paul Giamatti and Stellan Skarsgaard, it affords those unfamiliar with the tale the chance to put faces to the two names they’ve undoubtedly heard innumerable times: Romeo and Juliet. Every generation deserves to discover this lasting love. 

So we’ve got Douglas Booth, Ed Westwick, AND Kodi Smit-McPhee? I feel like Booboo Stewart should’ve been a lock for one of these roles and got robbed. I miss the Baz Luhrmann version, where everyone wears Hawaiian shirts and calls their guns “swords.” I don’t think we appreciated that enough at the time.

I hope Twinky McDandelion Breath here makes it to the altar, he looks like he already bejizzed his waistcoat.

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