Hallelujer! It’s the trailer for Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas

Here’s the trailer for Tyler Perry’s A Very Madea Christmas, which was still untitled less than a month ago, which should tell you everything you need to know about Tyler Perry’s creative process, and his disdainful (-ly accurate) view of his fans. I’m pretty sure he writes this stuff on the way to the set. Incredibly, he was still able to pump out sassy Madea gems such as:

“You want a TV? Time to get a J-O-B.”

“You want a stocking full of candy? Well how about a stocking full of Jenny Craig!”

“Y’all been to the North Pole? So have I, I been on the pole!” (Yikes)

I’m kind of obsessed with the Jenny Craig line. What would a stocking full of Jenny Craig even entail? Does “Jenny Craig” have physical properties? Or is it like “a can full of whoopass?” It reminds me of the “nocturnal like a bat” joke from the Jack and Jill trailer, where the joke is so lazy that it’s not only not funny, but actively confusing.

Anyway, it’s sort of strange and wonderful to see Tyler Perry trying to play the PG wisecracking granny after reading his 44 Things I’ve Learned. He tries to sell you this folksy, aw shucks hucksterism, though you need only scratch the surface to hear him talk about how he’s convinced God is using his success as punishment for his haters (“God will make your enemy your footstool,” -Tyler Perry). Comedically, he’s a hack, but he’s also demigod using his powers of persuasion to settle petty scores. I’m convinced he could be a cult leader under different circumstances.

MADEA: Good afternoont, errybody! Now who wanna burn some witches?


(*screams of a promiscuous women tied to a stake*)