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Courtesy of Columbia Pictures, it’s the first trailer for Zero Dark Thirty, starring Jessica Chastain, Joel Edgerton, and Mark Strong, and re-teaming the Hurt Locker’s writer-director team, Mark Boal and Kathryn Bigelow (the latter of whom also directed Point Break – NEVER FORGET). The hunt-for-Bin-Laden subject matter is already pretty fresh in our minds, and the trailer doesn’t show much beyond b-roll and graphics, so it’s hard to know quite what we’re looking at just yet. But hopefully it adheres closely to the facts of the case, because that’s going to be the most gloriously anti-climactic villain death since Pan’s Labyrinth.
“We tracked the fugitive for more than 10 years! He was the most wanted man in the world! We weren’t even sure he was still alive until we caught a break – his driver! We followed him for months until he led us right to him!”
“WOW! And then what happened?? Did you have to foil a high-tech security system? Drill through the vault from underneath? Rappel from the ceiling by wires to avoid setting off the motion censors?”
“Nah, we just kicked down the front door and shot him in the face while he was sitting on the couch. Then we left.”
“Oh. ”
Cue right-wing pundits claiming this was carefully orchestrated by the liberal Hollywood conspiracy to coincide with the election in 5… 4… 3… 2…
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*drives monster truck through wall*
TYPICAL LEFT WING LIBERAL BULLSHIT! GUNS! FLAGS! FLAT TAX!
MURICA! F*CK YEAH!!!
+1 Burnsy
Politics schmolitics. This will almost definitely kick ass.
If it is half as good as The Hurt Locker it will be the second worst movie I have ever seen.
Flex if your comments were half as good as the automated script monkey ones selling dating sites, you’d be the second worst commenter on this site….after me biatchhhhh!!!! Ohhhhhhh in YO face, I’m the worst commenter ever…wait a minute. Damn this trolling stuff is hard.
BURN!!!
C’mon Bigelow, this isn’t the sequel to Near Dark? I needs mah’ Jenny Wright!
Are Hussein’ that Hollywood was Biden’ their time with this movie and that it has Bin Laden with pro-liberal subliminal content?? Why would Obamacare about that?
I wonder if they will delve into how,”our friends,” the Pakistanis couldn’t manage to find him even though he was hanging out in major military town.
Took us 14 years to find James Whitey Bolger mowing his lawn in Santa Monica, or somesuch. Though I suppose if we stuck our military on it we’d have found him a little faster.
I guess I’m saying that the Pakistanis likely put in a token effort, since he was our enemy, not so much theirs.
Man, I was desperately hoping that this was actually teasing a sequel to Point Break, in which Bodhi survived riding the “50 Year Storm” and the man hunt for him has reached its apex.Vaya con Dios, hopes and dreams.
The title sounds like a response from my smart-ass brother when I was 5.
Me: “What time is it?”
Smart-ass Brother: “Half past a monkey’s ass and quarter till his balls, f*ggot.”
*Write’s down brother’s name, puts on lipstick, listens to Telephone Line by Electric Light Orchestra*
Sounds like somebody practiced their “WHAT’S IN THE BOX?” voice.
/same question Lohan women get asked regularly
//that’s a burn
///like what it feels like when you pee after sexing a Lohan woman
At least no one will have to post a *Spoiler Alert* when posting about this movie.
I want an epilogue where satan is basting him over an open flame.
You started your count a little late, Vince. Right-wing pundits started screaming about that when the film was first announced. That’s why they delayed the release date.
Also, we all may know the ending, but the night leading up to it….hoo boy. I can’t wait to see this shit. If you haven’t already read this comprehensive New Yorker article on the raid, peep game:
[www.newyorker.com]
PULSE-POUNDING. I’m so psyched for this movie.
Although I keep seeing people who have some military knowledge bemoaning the fact that the ACTUAL term is “OH Dark Thirty”….not “Zero.” Not that I particularly care, but I wonder why they didn’t go with the real term? CONSPIRACY BLAH BLAH ELECTION OBAMA.
Based on their previous work military accuracy isn’t their strong point.
I’m genuinely curious: What was inaccurate about Hurt Locker?
* A lower rank punched a higher rank and got no punishment.
* The EOD team doing a foot patrol to find the trigger man
* The EOD team being on their own many times
* The team having a well trained sniper
* Manually disarming bombs instead of using the robot or simply blowing them up after clearing the area
* Wrong uniforms
* The sneaking off base and getting back on base sequence
* Basically the entire Renner character’s attitude towards the people under his command. Though I guess the punching scenario makes more sense since Renner’s action would likely cause his team’s death.
Basically read any review from people with military experience and they can list those anre more.
My stars. Yea, if I was in any way a military guy I could see that ruffling my feathers.
EXCEPT for points #5, 7, and 8. That was to show how much of a RENEGADE LONE WOLF Jeremy Renner was. Without it you wouldn’t have much of an exciting movie. I don’t care about inaccuracies if it means we get a better film.
“EXCEPT for points #5, 7, and 8. That was to show how much of a RENEGADE LONE WOLF Jeremy Renner was. Without it you wouldn’t have much of an exciting movie.”
Which is a disheartening point. they sacrificed a good war movie, addiction to the danger, the difficulty of facing Sudden Civilian Syndrome and the desire to go back to get that feeling back with traditional action movie cliches that lessened it as a realistic war movie.
It’s a story only Hollywood has the brass to make. Assail our capitalist culture and attack our institutions? Not only will we kill you, we’ll make movies about it and totally own every aspect of the circumstances surrounding it.
The history books are written by the winners. And so are the movies so nyah nyah nyah.
They’re pushing the release back again so they can replace Bin Laden’s compound with a Chick-Fil-A.
To be honest, this just makes me curious to hear Vince’s thoughts on last night’s Newsroom. I felt compelled to watch it and holy shit does that show suck.
Which Red Hot Chili Pepper will play Bin Laden?
Back off, Warchild.
Wow, too bad the title “Threat Level Midnight” was already taken. Jesus this looks like crap. Movies made during wars are rarely any good. Anyone care to watch “Lions for Lambs” again? Hahaha…again…haha.