05.01.08 10 years ago 37 Comments

–Author’s Note: Please read “Billy Zane” in the voice of Derek Zoolander whenever possible.–

Director Uwe Boll is suing Billy Zane over $700,000 in revenue from Bloodrayne.

Boll claims in the April 30 filing that Zane was the one who suggested Romar Entertainment handle distribution of the film. Zane and Romar principal James Schramm allegedly promised the film would open in 2,000 theaters and that a $10 million advance from Boll would be used for advertising and promotion. But at least $900,000 was paid out to Zane and Schramm and the movie opened in only 950 theaters, Boll claims.  The film’s budget was $25 million and brought in just under $4 million at the worldwide boxoffice. [Source]

Billy Zane is the cheesiest man alive and Uwe Boll is a villain from Rocky and Bullwinkle.  I can’t imagine both of them trying to act serious in a court of law.  The only way to settle this is some sort of Double Dare-style challenge in which the contestants have to snorkel through a giant bowl of spaghetti and the winner is the guy who can stuff the most meatballs in his speedo.

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