Vin Diesel is a comedic genius

There’ve been a few stories about Vin Diesel and a Chronicles of Riddick sequel going around for the past year, but I usually avoid them because… well, the prospect of that sounds about as interesting as a WWE subplot.  But good old Vin Diesel, the same guy who was feeling bullish about 5 Fast 5 Furious’s Oscar chances a few weeks ago, he’s always good for a quote.  Honestly, is there anything better than a quote about “artistic integrity” just above a guy with fingerless wrist warmers pulling down his magic space goggles?

[Matt Ufford tells me his eyes look like that because of an eye transplant he was given on a prison planet, which is why Riddick can see in the dark.  Mr. Ufford has since been wedgied.]

On Tuesday, Diesel posted a message on his wall telling fans [director David] Twohy had good news — they could start filming this summer — but there was a catch. “[I]n order for us to make a true R rated film, I must work for scale upfront. Not unlike the Find me Guilty experience (which I wouldn’t have changed for the world)… Money is always second to art, integrity and spirit… but the real issue is deeper. Can I suspend my life, to momentarily venture to that dark place… called Riddick. Now, I need to hear from Our collective… you. Wisdom and clarity appreciated,” he wrote.

Oh thank God, my favorite character, the existential buffoon.  So you see, the real issue isn’t money, but whether Vin Diesel can stop being Vin Diesel long enough to funnel his essence into that dark Furyan, the one who the prophet foretold would bring about the demise of Necromongers. Is it worth the cost? Spiritually?  Perhaps this is one instance where the question is more important than the answer.  I leave you to ponder. (*dog ears chapter of Proust, solemnly sips Monster energy drink, rides off on tricked-out Razor scooter*)