Wahaha. Nicholas Sparks party the scene of Miley’s underage skankery

05.12.10 8 years ago 25 Comments

UPDATE: Now with video, after the jump.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to cover Miley Cyrus’ “lurid” lap dance after all the gossip sites beat me to it, but I think the scene of the crime and the people involved deserve some attention.  First, the story.

From Radar via WWTDD:
The video shows Adam Shankman on the dance floor with a drink in hand grinding up against Cyrus’ backside while she grinds back. At one point Cyrus turns around and seductively opens the top layer of her shirt, teasing Shankman with her flirty dance moves.  In a second clip to the video, Cyrus is seen giving Shankman a lap dance while children under the age of 10 sit less than five feet away watching the Hannah Montana star, and neither her mother Tish nor father Billy Ray were present at the party.

Okay, so the Disney Channel trained one of their faux-wholesome stars to act like an underage prostitute and some kids saw a lap dance.  I give that a “what’s new” and a “who cares”, respectively.  But I need to give you an idea of the kind of cretinous dildos who were present at this part.

First off, this was at a wrap party for The Last Song, the movie Miley Cyrus starred in based on a novel by Nicholas Sparks, the male Stephenie Meyers who compares himself to Hemingway and Sophocles and thinks Cormac McCarthy sucks.  The movie was about a girl who rescues a nest of sea turtle eggs from raccoons, and in the process, learns to love the piano again, by the way.  And that guy she was giving a lap dance to? Adam Shankman, the guy who was once moved to tears by a contestant on So You Think You Can Dance and directed the following movies:

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[via WWTDD again]

The Wedding Planner
A Walk to Remember
Bringing Down the House
The Pacifier
Cheaper By the Dozen 2
Hairspray
Bedtime Stories

So a girl who was legally at the age of consent in some states (16) gave a suggestive, but nudity-free lap dance to a gay guy, and this is a big scandal?  Yes.  Yes it is.  Lock them up and throw away the key.  And charge Nicholas Sparks as an accessory, I’m sure he had something do with this.  He just looks like a creepy pedo.

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