X-Men: First Class grossed $56 million over the weekend, which is ridiculously good for the average film, but still the worst opening of any of the X-Men films. Many people blame Wolverine for turning people off to the franchise, as well as Brett Ratner’s X3, which grossed $102 million in its opening weekend back in May 2006, despite “chugging a big bowl of monkey schlongs” (according to scientists). The question is, what was Brett Ratner trying to say with his series of tweets yesterday to X-Men box office comparisons? He was quick with a phony congratulations to X-Men: First Class director Matthew Vaughn this morning (complete with the multiple of exclamation points of disingenuousness). But as Pajiba points out, hiding behind box office numbers wouldn’t be the first time he made preposterous a statement in defense of his terrible movie.
I’M THE BLOCK QUOTE, BITCH:
It was a tacky thing to do. But, I suppose that’s to be expected from the director who once said this about The Last Stand as compared to Bryan Singer’s opening installments: “Mine was the one that made the most narrative sense. And I’m not knocking Bryan’s movie but he just does a certain thing; Bryan uses his brain and I use my eye and my instincts more. It’s a whole different approach to making a movie. I’m not saying my movie wasn’t smart; I just wasn’t intellectualizing it.” [Pajiba]
That’s right, Brett Ratner doesn’t intellectualize decisions like you effeminate academics. He goes with his gut, and you can’t learn that in any school (except maybe at the six-week Gut Seminar Ratner sponsors at the New York Film Academy, but a place that advertises in the back of magazines hardly counts as a “school”). It’s just a wonder his gut ever tells him anything besides “MOAR NACHOS, PLZ.” In any case, the question remains: was the Rat Man gloating? I decided to take a look back through his recent tweets for clues, and this is what I found:
You people have no idea how delicious and healthy @GenesisToday Omega Orange is!! It tastes like the creamsicles from my childhood.
Congrats to @ParisHilton on her new show #TheWorldAccordingToParis premiering Tonight at 10pm on @Oxygen
@nickcannon #mrshowbiz comedy album out TODAY. I exec produced it https://say.ly/SfPmXK
Sadly, I’m no closer to an answer about the X-Men thing, but I have come to the conclusion that Brett Ratner is a real-life Turtle from Entourage.