Any time I hear that Hollywood is going to adopt some off-Broadway musical, I become understandably nervous. Musical adaptations are notoriously difficult to execute, and I refuse to stand by any financed production that includes miniature nerds singing in falsetto voices about AIDS (Rent). Still, I like Anna Kendrick, and I was curious to see how’d she perform in The Last Five Years, a Tony Award-winning musical about some boring couple’s breakup.
Watching Kendrick sing in the above clip, I have to say – I’m almost marginally impressed. Her voice is: good, even though the lyrics are: ridiculous. “You don’t have to change your shoes,” she tells her lover, “You don’t have to have to put the seat down or even watch the news!”
Think that’s bad? It gets worse: “You don’t have to love prosciutto – you don’t have to change a thing, just stay with meeeee.”
Listen Anna, I’m all for finding a partner that will never ever abandon you – even if they don’t understand the value of salted meats. But have some self-respect. No new shoes? Do you want a closet full of Lotrimin? Also, no news? I mean you don’t have to want to bone Terry Gross, but c’mon – at least feed me a sexy AOL headline.
I get it, it’s a joke. And it’s a funny one, I guess, if kind of elitist (they’re both struggling writers/actors living in Brownstone Brooklyn: Cry. Me. A River). Directed by Richard LaGravanese, The Last Five Years was picked up by the Weinstein Company, and is scheduled to make us all weep sometime around Valentine’s Day.
I guess I’d have to see the full thing to truly appreciate it. The Last Five Years is playing at TIFF now to decidedly “it could be worse!” reviews.