FilmDrunk

Watch These Four Wonderful Movies (And One TV Episode) For Steve Martin’s Birthday

More often than not, I discourage people from reading the comments sections or poor man’s message board threads on IMDB, because they’re filled with anonymous dipshits who sincerely live by the belief that if someone gave them a shot, they could all be better than Hollywood’s best and brightest stars. Or the posts are littered with nameless numbnuts claiming to have the latest inside info on the day’s biggest film news, and followed up with dream casting from fanboys and girls who really wish that Kristen Stewart could be in just about every movie ever made. Again, I don’t recommend ever jumping into that quicksand unless you’re built out of titanium and can hold off on shouting, “What the f*ck!” at your monitor for more than 30 seconds.

This morning, I was looking over Steve Martin’s IMDB page after I asked myself whether or not the legendary comic, actor, writer, musician, etc. had any truly underrated movies that needed someone to stick up for them, and I didn’t need to answer it because this message thread caught my eye.

In fairness, that “recent post” is from 2007, but still… not funny anymore? Digging in a little deeper, there are people who say that Martin has never been funny, and they all clearly need to be sent off to their own island where they can watch Happy Madison films until their pants all fall down and they get pissed on by deer. One commenter even went as far as to say that My Blue Heaven was his shark-jumping movie, and that’s where I draw the damn line, people. My Blue Heaven is a national treasure that should have its own wing in the motherf*cking Smithsonian, and people who don’t agree with that have clearly never actually said, “You know, it’s dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section… because you could melt all this stuff” to a woman in a supermarket on a dare.

So instead of ranking Steve Martin’s most underrated movies (he has very few that don’t get the respect they deserve) or talking about how cool it is that the baseball scene in Parenthood was actually filmed at a park down the street from me, I decided to celebrate his 69th birthday today by talking about the four movies that we should be required by law to watch once a week, as well as one TV episode that he starred in, because it might have been the best of that series. Obviously, a conversation like this begins with…

¡Three Amigos!

It is indisputable fact that everyone currently alive in the United States of America, and perhaps even the entire world, considers ¡Three Amigos! to be one of the greatest movies ever made. Anyone who claims that it isn’t is lying or crazy and should be Baker Acted and examined by the world’s top psychiatric experts. Directed by John Landis and co-starring Chevy Chase and Martin Short, ¡Three Amigos! was written by Martin, Lorne Michaels and Randy Newman, and it features some of the most quotable lines in movie history, as I don’t know a single person who doesn’t hear the word “plethora” and immediately respond…

Additionally, what grown man and his friends don’t occasionally embarrass their significant others or children by doing the Amigos’ salute?

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