Weekend Movie Guide: Disney Vs. Old West Poop Jokes, Who Ya Got?

Opening Everywhere: A Million Ways to Die in the West, Maleficent

Opening Somewhere: Filth, Night Moves, The Hornet’s Nest

FilmDrunk Suggests: Vince saw A Million Ways to Die in the West and reviewed it. I saw a commercial in which a critic whose name I don’t give a rat’s ass about claims that this movie is the best comedic Western ever made. Sure, critic dude. Sure. Suuuuuuuuuuuuure. It was probably Pete Hammond.

A Million Ways to Die in the West

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 34% critics, 57% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

But for all its hit-and-miss jokes, there are lots of ways to die laughing at this Western raunchfest. – Peter Travers, Rolling Stone

Some of the gags do land – maybe one in four. But the genre-parody genre with big stars and poop jokes needs a little more class than MacFarlane is capable of providing. – David Edelstein, Vulture

Armchair Analysis: I haven’t read Vince’s review, but I think this movie looks pretty funny. It certainly has a good enough cast, and I’d let Charlize Theron order me to drink bleach from a boot. But there’s just something about Seth MacFarlane that rubs me the wrong way. It’s probably the giant pile of cash that Fox gave him to sleep on.


Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 48% critics, 74% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

Long live the feminist revisionist backstory. – Kate Taylor, Globe and Mail

In the blood-red lipstick and midnight-black gown and cowl of her Sleeping Beauty antecedent, Jolie’s Maleficent is magnificent. – Steven Rea, Philadelphia Inquirer

Armchair Analysis: Edgy new takes on classic fairy tales? Well, this is something I thought I’d never see.


Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 68% critics, 73% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

Viewers hungry for a catch-all dose of Welshian sardonicism would be better served checking out Trainspotting. Better soundtrack, for one. – John Semley, Globe and Mail

Unlike Jude Law’s similarly offensive title character in Dom Hemingway, McAvoy is given a far better story to work from. – Linda Barnard, Toronto Star

Armchair Analysis: Plenty of people have told me now that what looks like a dashing, fun romp filled with bad police work and hardcore drugs is actually a very dark and depressing movie. Bring the kids!

Night Moves

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 77% critics, 55% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“Night Moves” is a serious film, and certainly more thoughtful one than another recent eco-thriller, the gimmicky “The East.” Yet it remains – especially for Reichardt – an oddly uninvolving one. – Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger

“Night Moves” has a sure-handedness that shows Reichardt is still growing as a filmmaker. – Jake Coyle, AP

Armchair Analysis: Jesse Eisenberg looking really serious and intense? That’s a first.

The Hornet’s Nest

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 89% critics, 92% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

Mr. Boettcher knew those men, puts faces to their names. As he says, every soldier’s story is different, and they all bear telling. – Daniel M. Gold, New York Times

“The Hornet’s Nest” is a kinetic, immersive experience, particularly in its deeply felt human moments. – Gary Goldstein, Los Angeles Times

Armchair Analysis: Call me a hippie, but I’d rather watch a movie made from clips of soldiers coming home. Preferably with the responses of their children and pets.