FilmDrunk

Weekend Movie Guide: Does Anyone Know The Plot Of ‘Broken City’?

Opening Everywhere: Broken City, The Last Stand, Mama

FilmDrunk Suggests: This is a tough one, because I think Mama looks fantastic, but I know other people are going to give it the “Ugh, not this crap again” that I typically give to these kinds of horror movies. So I guess that one’s a toss-up, but The Last Stand looks like a heaping pile of HGH-injected dung, so I’m not recommending that one. Most of you will probably see it anyway, but Johnny Knoxville as an action film sidekick gives me flashbacks of Rob Schneider as an action film sidekick.

And then there’s Broken City. It looks about as inviting as this week’s HOTT GOSS Song of the Week.

Broken City

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 23% critics, 72% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“A more-than-pleasant change from the month’s parade of horror films and trash comedies.” – Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger (Please, that’s like saying a handy with sandpaper is a nice change from a beej with Pop Rocks.)

“You may want to account for low expectations, but the crime drama ‘Broken City’ turns out to be much better — and funnier and more suspenseful — than both trailer and release date portend.” – Stephanie Merry, Washington Post

Armchair Analysis: Okay, that second quote. That’s what I’m talking about. Every time I see a commercial for this damn movie, I raise my hands in the air and yell, “What the funk is this all about?” I have no clue what this movie is about, other than Russell Crowe dicked over Mark Wahlberg and Jeffrey Wright is pissed about something. So let’s check the synopsis:

“An ex-cop-turned-private eye (Mark Wahlberg) is thrown headfirst into a hotbed of trouble after a mayor (Russell Crowe) hires him to look into his cheating wife.”

Thank you. I’m not sure why the marketing team couldn’t just run that at the bottom of the screen during the commercials.

The Last Stand

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 58% critics, 80% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“Dig just a shade beneath the surface, trade in the text for the subtext, and a more interesting picture emerges – a little richer, sadder, almost poignant.” – Rick Groen, Globe and Mail

“The Last Stand reminds me of Metallica’s song writing process in Some Kind of Monster, where they’d just kind of all play loud at the same time and occasionally stumble upon an okay-sounding bit that they’d then record.” – Vince Mancini, Portland Mercury

Armchair Analysis: I think that I’ve just been spoiled with old action trope stupidity by The Expendables franchise, because I simply adore those films for just being stupidity and muscle. I don’t really have a desire to see Arnold yukking it up with Knoxville, because I don’t think Knoxville is funny when he’s trying way too hard to be funny. I hope I’m wrong, though.

Mama

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 63% critics, 81% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“There’s something eerily effective about juxtaposing childhood innocence with the violent, the supernatural, the deranged. Evil shines all the more brightly when held up against the sweet promise of youth.” – Tom Long, Detroit News

“Chastain has an excellent time. And so did I, for most of the movie: It’s much more suspenseful than violent, being careful not to allow us to figure out Mama too quickly.” – Kyle Smith, NY Post

Armchair Analysis: I just wish this was called Mother… eh, f*ck it, it’s close enough.

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